It feels like every three months, Cosmo or some equally shitty publication puts out a list of ways to “Have Sex Like A Pornstar”. Why not? Slapping that on a front page would get me to buy it.
That said, I’ve always been disappointed by the tips these hacks provide for having sex like a pornstar. It’s almost as though they’ve never seen porn before. Do I even dare accuse them of just making shit up so they can sell magazines?
Well, I’ve had enough. I’ve taken matters into my own hands and I’m here to tell you how to really have sex like a pornstar in 7 easy steps. So pay attention!