penis
Posts

  • 1 in 5 Men Are Unhappy With Their Penis

    At the risk of sounding heteronormative, penises are weird. Not that I’m not happy to have a penis (it’s pretty cool, I guess), but you’ve got to admit that having a super-sensitive nub of flesh that alternates between fleshy sponge and rock-hard love machine is weird.

    While women worry about keeping their bodies up to the ridiculously high standards set by mainstream and adult media, men have all been brainwashed into thinking that their penises need to be big, circumcised and ready to get hard in a moment’s notice because those are the only types of penises we ever see or talk about.  Continue Reading

    October 1, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 6632

  • Another “Does Penis Size Matter?” Opinion but This Time From a Lesbian

    I feel like people have beaten this topic to death and yet, I still recently got asked the question: Can I please a woman with a below average penis?

    Eek. At first I thought, maybe I’m not the person to ask because I’m a lesbian but then I thought, WAIT I’m actually the best person to ask because I’M A LESBIAN… which basically means that pretty much all of the sex I have is without a penis and I still managed to please my women. (I say “pretty much” all of the sex I have is without a penis because sometimes I feel particularly adventurous and bring out thestrap on)

    Now let me tell you why I think the number one reason that having a below average penis isn’t the biggest deal in the world: If I can get the job done just with the three inches that are my fingers, I’m pretty sure a below average penis can do it no matter how small.

    A woman’s g-spot is only about 2-3 inches into her vagina and when it comes to penetration, the g-spot is the magic button. So, considering the average size of a penis is 5.5-6.3 inches, most men have more than enough to please a woman. In fact, that is even enough to hit her cervix, which hurts if you’re not careful! So basically, even if the length of your penis is considered rather small and below average, you still have what it takes to get her to cum during penetration.

    Keep in mind that even if your penis was 12 inches, some women still can’t cum from penetration. So don’t neglect the clitoris. Never neglect the clitoris.

    A final note: If you need help finding the g-spot, just know that it’s a small textured bump you’ll be able to feel.

    July 7, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 18158

  • Penisless* Rapper Christ Bearer Wants to Star in Pornos

    *formerly penisless, that is.

    In today’s WTF gruesome moment of the day, formerly Wu-Tang Clan affiliated rapper Christ Bearer claims that he’d like to act in some adult films.  At first, this might not seem very surprising: a musician/semi-celebrity who isn’t exactly relevant any more that wants to get their name back in the press and make some money by entering the adult industry.  For other washed up celebs following this path, please see almost any celebrity sex tape, with an extra focus on ‘teen mom’ Farrah Abraham.

    The difference in this case is that Christ Bearer actually WAS in the news recently, but for all of the wrong reasons.  In April of this year, Christ Bearer made headlines by chopping off his own dick with a steak knife in a PCP fuelled craze and then falling off a 2nd story balcony.  Pretty awful shit, right?  That’s why you don’t do PCP.  Shit is fucked up.  If you’re going to smoke stuff stick with smoking weed every second of every day like I do – sometimes I FEEL like jumping off a 2nd story balcony to see what it’d be like, but I never actually go through with it.  What do you think I am, crazy?

    Good news for Mr. Bearer, however, as the hospital was able to reattach his penis.  Apparently, it works fine too.  Recently, TMZ caught up with Christ Bearer to ask him about his Franken-junk.  Christ Bearer’s response was pretty funny:

    TMZ: Does it work? 
    Bearer: “Does it work?!? Can Chris Brown dance? Can Kanye West rant? Can Jay Z fight off a trick?”

    You can also check out the video below:

    It might seem like this is simply a publicity stunt, or a crazy rapper just shooting off at the mouth and bragging to convince people that his dick actually isn’t all messed up and works fine.  The interesting thing, however is that Steve Hirsh from Vivid Entertainment is actually interested in working with Christ Bearer….as long as he can actually prove that his dick still work good.

    I dunno.  I just don’t know.  Don’t do drugs, OK?  That’s what I’m taking away from this whole thing.

    If his cock actually works normally, however (or maybe it has taken on superhuman pornstar attributes through a miraculous surgical procedure??), Mr. Bearer can join the long and esteemed list of cross-over porn stars such as those listed below:

    2516752 paris hilton Penisless* Rapper Christ Bearer Wants to Star in Pornos

    July 2, 2014 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Sex, Sex News • Views: 6826

  • 6 Penis Enlargement Products that Definitely Work

    A little while ago, we ran an article detailing an Indian man’s failed attempt to order a vast quantity of penis enlargement products.

    Here’s a pro-tip from your trusted Sex.com writers: don’t buy penis enlargement products online.  You’re almost certainly gonna get scammed.  Either the product is going to be bullshit and not really work properly or you won’t receive what you ordered at all.

    But luckily for you, there’s a bunch of other methods of penis enlargement that are available without springing for stupid expensive natural supplements.

    Here’s our list:  Continue Reading

    June 20, 2014 • Funny, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips, Sexual Health, Stuff • Views: 11508

  • Tinder Adds Sexting Feature

    Officially, Snapchat is a photo messaging application that allows users to take photos, record videos and add text or doodle all over them before they’re gone forever in ten seconds or less. That’s how Snapchat would like to be known as.

    In reality, Snapchat is an app that facilitates safe-sexts. The only real use for Snapchat is to take pictures of your dick, or perhaps boobs if you’re a lady, and send them to people you know when you’re feeling real horny. The reason Snapchat is the most effective way to share your dick pics is because once opened, your dick pic will disappear forever within the time you selected for it to last. Therefore, the likelihood of you being blackmailed a la Anthony Weiner is lower than with email or text messages.

    I say “lower” rather than “eliminate” because it is still possible for the receiver of the dick pic to screenshot your dick pic before it disappears. At least Snapchat notifies the sender of the dick pic so they can at least anticipate a blackmail in the upcoming future.

    However, Snapchat’s status as the most effective way to send safe-sexts is now being challenged by popular hook-up app Tinder. Their ephemeral photo sharer is known as “Moments” and it could really change the way you send dick pics.

    According to Tinder CEO Sean Rad (nice name you fucking loser), Tinder Moments should make it easier for people to star conversations on the app. Because when you can’t muster the courage to type “Yo”, at least now you can just take your pants off and snap a pick of your flaccid penis.

    Now I know what you’re thinking…”Why should I take a picture of my flaccid penis?”

    Easy. You start by showing your flaccid penis to open the conversation. Then, if the person you’re sexting on Tinder hasn’t already blocked you, they’ll write something like, “Yo, is that your dick?”

    Then you come back with, “Yeah it is. And if you like the look of my flaccid penis, then wait until you see my erect penis!”

    Whether or not you proceed with sharing a picture of your erect penis or try to entice them to see it in person is totally up to you. The point is not to give it all away. Just like a job interview. The person who gets hired is not the person who begs for the job, or the most docile candidate. The people that get worked the hardest to snag are the candidates who knew their own value. Simple as that.

    Anyways…

    Tinder’s Moments feature not only allows users to take a photo but also add a filter, doodle all over it, write a message and broadcast it to all their Tinder matches. Meanwhile, your Tinder matches will be able to view and like the photos for 24 hours before they disappear.

    What’s interesting about Tinder’s sexting feature is that the person who took the photo can keep their own gallery of “moments” forever. So rather than taking a new picture of your flaccid penis every time you get a new Tinder match, you’ll be able to amass a collection of your most flattering flaccid penis pictures and send the ones you feel are the most appropriate for your latest match.

    While I do think it’s cool that Tinder has added a new sexting feature, I wonder whether or not Sean “Nice Name You Fucking Loser” Rad is right about sending pictures being easier than writing a message.

    So what do you think?

    June 5, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 20972

  • Man Stupidly Pays for Fake Penis Enlargement Products

    OK, you’re on Sex.com, so I already know you look at porn all day – you don’t have to throw up some false pretence as to why you’ve seen millions and millions of those spammy penis enlargement product ads plastered all over the internet.

    But have any of you ever been short-sighted enough to actually go ahead and order those penis enlargement supplements that promise to turn you from average-Joe-six-incher into Ron Jeremy himself? I hope for your sake that the answer is no, yet I’m skeptical.

    Here’s the thing – though the vast majority of those ads are huge scams meant to feed into men’s insecurities about their dong size, they must make ad revenue or else you wouldn’t see them everywhere.  SOMEBODY must be buying those products, but I like to think that the average Sex.com user is smart enough not to. But, even if you do for some reason give all of your credit card and shipping information to a dubious online entity, most of the time the worst thing that will happen is that they’ll send you some fake herbal supplements that don’t really do anything, or some other crappy product.

    Some dude got a pretty hilarious surprise recently though.  He bought one of those fake penis enlargement products and probably waited eagerly, panting at his mail slot for weeks waiting for the miracle cure that would finally turn him into a 10-inched stud so he could please his wife…the package finally came, one glorious, sunny beautiful morning, and the guy in a fit of excitement and passion ripped off all of the packaging, opened up the box, poured out all of the packing foam, and discovered…A MAGNIFYING GLASS.

    Whoever was running that site had a pretty funny sense of humor, and I commend them.

    So what’s the moral of the story?

    We repeat it all of the time on this blog: don’t worry about your dick size, dude.  It’s not about how big it is, it’s about how you use it.  Filling your body with strange chemicals and supplements isn’t going to make a noticeable difference, so instead of wasting all of that time and money on get-big-quick schemes, why not devote some time to learning how to use your penis properly or alternatively figuring out another way to please your partner?

    Luckily for you, I have a fool-proof scheme that will make your penis big and hard, right away, and its totally free!  Look at porn pictures, gifs and videos on Sex.com and you’ll notice your penis almost double in size!  Here are some samples to get you started.

    4137912 wow Man Stupidly Pays for Fake Penis Enlargement Products

    June 3, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 33142

  • The Proper Way To Shave Your Genitals

    Last week, we ran a poll asking the female Sex.com Blog readers what they thought of hairy men. And I’m sorry to report that only 20% of women think a hairy man is hot. 39% were totally indifferent to a man with a lot of body hair, meanwhile 41% said that hairy men were gross.

    Then when asked which part of the body is the most important for a man to shave, 27% of women said the pubes taking the top spot and 21% said the balls. Only 13% said face, which came in third.

    So as you can see from our research, even though big bushes might be back in style for women, they prefer their men to be well-groomed. DOUBLE STANDARD MUCH? Just kidding.

    To help you make the women in your life happier, it’s time you learned how to properly groom your genitals. Bringing sharp objects to your genitals is never that much fun, but at least with this guide you can do it with confidence.

    STEP 1: TRIM THE HAIR.

    First things first: invest in a beard trimmer.

    Using a beard trimmer works better than scissors and will cut the hair shorter. If you use a clipper make sure you use a 0 or 1 blade on it, if you do it will cut almost as close as a razor blade.

    But only use the trimmer to trim the surrounding hair. Using a beard trimmer on the scrotum or the under side of the penis could be extremely painful because the skin is so sensitive.

    The last thing I want is for all you guys to have bloody scrotums and penises because of me.

    STEP 2: NO CHEMICALS.

    While it might seems easier to use creams or sprays that “melt” the hair off like NAIR, the fact of the matter is that your pubic area is way too sensitive to be applying these chemicals. So for your own safety, stay away from chemicals.

    STEP 3: GET IN POSITION.

    Find a place with some privacy, so that you can concentrate on proper manscaping.

    Personally, I recommend sitting down in a hot, shallow bath since the heat will open your pores for an easier shave. Plus, you’re in a stable position to reach your genitals and you can easily rinse the razor.

    But standing in the shower or over a garbage can works too. Whatever you’re most comfortable with!

    STEP 4: LATHER UP.

    Lather the area with shaving cream intended for sensitive skin, because as I’ve said many times already, the skin on your pubic area is extremely sensitive.

    Avoid menthol or heavily scented creams as they will irritate the area. Using an antibacterial shaving gel will minimize irritation caused by bacteria getting into your pores and hair follicles.

    STEP 5: SHAVING.

    Take a new 3 or 4 bladed razor, shave each area using short, very light strokes. Apply as little pressure as possible. You just want the razor blade to glide over your genitals.

    The key to shaving your genitals is to make sure that the skin is firm, because shaving loose skin can cause cuts, which is exactly what we don’t want!

    Rinse the blade with every stroke and then it’s just a matter of isolating the hair and shaving with the direction of growth to avoid irritation. It’s also a good idea to shave with an erection, since the skin is extended and the penis itself is easier to handle.

    The scrotum is much easier to shave if the skin is extended. The scrotum should be shaved from the middle front part of it, to the sides, with extreme care. It is best to shave when the scrotum is ascended – meaning tight against the body. The piece of skin that goes between the shaft and the sack may be especially problematic. One thing you can do is take an ice cube into the shower and rub it on the scrotum to tighten things up. It can help get rid of that flap of skin between the shaft and the scrotum.

    STEP 6: CLEAN UP.

    Rinse yourself off with some mild soap and make sure not to leave any pubes lying around because that’s disgusting.

    Once you’ve rinsed yourself off, pat your genitals dry. Rubbing them with a towel can cause some irritation, which is not what we want!

    No matter how careful you’ve been, you’re going to get some irritation on the second day stubble. That’s why it’s a good idea to exfoliate the area or pat it down with baby powder to reduce irritation. The more you shave your pubes though, the less irritation and redness you’ll experience.

    SO THERE YOU GO!

    Now you’re an expert in shaving your genitals, which is important because women clearly prefer a groomed man to a hairy one.

     

    May 19, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 19081

  • 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less – That’s Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Guys, y’all really have to work on your game.

    Established sex-master and urologist Dr. Harry Fisch recently did a post for Nerve in which he details the ‘normal’ frequency of sexual intercourse.  The findings are of course inconclusive, because what constitutes ‘normal’ is completely subjective.  It depends on  the person and it depends on the relationship.  Nothing to see here.

    More interesting is the fact that a whopping 45% of men last 2 minutes or less during sexual intercourse before cumming.  That’s ludicrous, and certainly not enough time for the majority of women to achieve an orgasm. 2 minutes is like, straight up premature ejaculation territory.  The fact that 45% of men fall into that zone really questions our sexual health as a society.

    The average length of vaginal intercourse is about 7.3 minutes, which, although better than 2 minutes, still isn’t enough time for the average woman to achieve an orgasm consistently.

    What is a man to do?  First thing’s first, you should do some research on how to increase your sexual stamina.  A great starting point would the article written by our own Chico Dusty entitled “How Do I Increase My Sexual Stamina?”

    Things like increasing your sexual stamina take hard work and dedication, but I’m asking you to undertake the mission of improving your sexual stamina for two main reasons:

    1) Your sexual partner will thank you when you stopping blowing your load as soon as you penetrate them.

    2) We need to boost these averages up for the sake of men everywhere.  2 minutes makes us look like a bunch of goddamn jokers.

    So, to help you work on that really underwhelming sexual stamina, please look at these sexy pictures and gifs while masturbating.  Try to make yourself last a bit longer than usual.  Then, visit Sex.com and look at some more pictures and try to beat your previous record!  See, working on your sexual stamina can be fun, like a game!  Not giving your girl an orgasm isn’t fun though, for you or her.

    5814909 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: boobiesbuttholesandbagels.tumblr.com via LauraLMJ on Sex.com

    5212043 ashley sky 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: snowbunnyhill.tumblr.com via sdmf32 on Sex.com

    226250 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: porndream.tumblr.com via sMiGoL on Sex.com

    5814881 hottie 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: Uploaded by user via devon69 on Sex.com

    5644775 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: porngif4u.blogspot.com via sMiGoL on Sex.com

    5234298 kendall karson 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: myboobs4you.com via EffectCum on Sex.com

    5584127 slowly on the tip 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: bestkindofjob.tumblr.com via brba on Sex.com

    5814874 fuck marry kill the ass edition 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: imgelite.com via ekvador77 on Sex.com

    2431559 wild blowjob 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: feedproxy.google.com via brba on Sex.com

    5756076 dani holly 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: via JordH on Sex.com

    5814779 45% of Men Last 2 Minutes or Less   Thats Horrible Sexual Stamina

    Source: teenbaters.tumblr.com via LauraLMJ on Sex.com

    Did you make it all the way to the end without cumming? Excellent work! Keep trying to break that record on Sex.com!

    via Nerve

    April 30, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 20189

  • You’re More Likely To Get Cheated On If You Have A Big Penis

    I get thousands of emails every day. 99% of those emails are men asking me for sex advice about the size of their penises. Unfortunately, I have to ignore everyone asking about the size of their penises because I’ve already told you multiple times that NO ONE CARES ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS. Long, short, thick or thin, it really doesn’t matter what the dimensions of your penis are, as long as you keep it clean and communicate with your partner to maximize it’s pleasure giving ability.

    First of all, let me say that I understand why men are so obsessed with having a big penis. Men see a big penis as a symbol of power and sexual prowess. And in having a big penis, a man is then irresistible to women, giving them the best sex of their lives. But what you need to know is that that line of thinking is just your brain on porn.

    That said, a new study from Kenya, published in PLOSOne, may reassure you that having a small penis is actually a positive thing. Apparently, men with big penises are more likely to get cheated on by their wives.

    Researchers interviewed 545 Kenyan married couples to better understand relationship habits and factors for extramarital affairs in order to help stop the spread of HIV in the region.

    The couples were individually asked to self-report the size of the man’s erect penis size. Then, if the reported sizes were different, the researchers took the average of the two or the woman’s estimate (because you know men be lying about the size of their dicks).

    And the results were SHOCKING.

    “Every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-half times,” the researchers wrote. “Women associated large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel.”

    Couldn’t have said it better myself. Though you, a man, might think a big penis is a symbol of power and sexual prowess, it actually signifies pain and discomfort. SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR PENIS SIZE. The pointless pursuit of having a bigger penis will only push your sexual partner away because she’s not sexually satisfied.

    In fact, one woman interviewed for the study told the researchers the following: “Some penis may be large yet my vagina is small, when he tries to insert it inside, it hurts so much that I will have to look for another man who has a smaller one [penis] and can do it in a way I can enjoy.”

    Of course, there will always be size-Queens in the world, but they’re so few and far between that there’s absolutely no reason to feel self-conscious about your penis size (unless in the unlikely event that you have a big penis, which in that case you should be worried that you’re getting cheated on).

    [h/t: HuffingtonPost]

     

    April 24, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 12377

  • Government is dumb, wastes millions on penis pumps

    Pumpo Government is dumb, wastes millions on penis pumps

    American senators all swear by this penis pump (probably)

    We all know penis pumps are hilarious.

    You’ve seen the movie Austin Powers, right?  See, even the world’s most mysterious and sexually desirable secret agent sometimes needs to enlist the help of a pump to get his ‘mojo’ ‘popping off’ or whatever.  Here’s the problem though, ever since I saw Austin Powers and declared it my favourite/the most cinematically important film of all time, I’ve always wanted to buy a penis pump as some kind of hilarious gag gift.

    Apparently, however, the American government finds Austin Powers REALLY hilarious, and I mean like, waste hundreds of millions of dollars on penis pumps hilarious.  According to Reuters, penis pumps cost the American government $172 million between 2006-2011 – yeah, so about all that unemployment and failing healthcare…

    So yeah, that’s a lot of money.  Apparently, American Medicare, the government health insurance for seniors, has paid close to 500,000 claims for vacuum erection systems.  So that’s 500,000 old men with raging boners that you now have to think about.  Enjoy!

    Continue Reading

    January 21, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 455