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  • Coolio’s New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Two months ago, my esteemed colleague Gil Powers reported that rapper Coolio was going to be mounting a comeback with a new song all about Pornhub and music video filled with pornstars.

    I know when I read Gil’s post about it, my reaction was, “Really?”

    To which Gil assured me that it was real.

    And of course I responded with, “No, really. Don’t jerk me around here fella. Coolio is going to make a comeback with a song about Pornhub and a music video filled with pornstars?”

    I guess my main problem with Coolio collaborating with Pornhub is that fact that people (who happened to be named Gil Powers) are calling it a comeback. A comeback, to me, implies a return to form in artistic circles. A Coolio comeback would mean that he had written and recorded a track on par with the Keena & Kel theme song.

    But this is not the case.

    Instead, Coolio’s collaboration with Pornhub is just sad. I’m sure that Coolio’s royalty checks for “Gangsters Paradise” have been steadily dwindling in size since 1995. And so when a few Pornhub employees saw Coolio standing on the street corner with a piece of cardboard that read, “WILL RAP FOR FOOD“, they couldn’t resist throwing some money at him in exchange for a song that’s nothing more than shameless promotion.

    That said, I can’t see how Coolio and Pornhub’s “Take It To The Hub” benefits anyone. Coolio mumbles his way through his verses, with MindGeek properties being the only words properly articulate (meaning that there was a clause in his contract that these were the only lyrics he had to enunciate), thus confirming that Coolio is as washed up as everyone thought he was.

    Meanwhile, I don’t see how Pornhub benefits from the song because it is terrible. “Take It To The Hub” might be Pornhub jumping the shark (which of course is an expression to describe that moment when something that was once great has reached a point where it will now decline in quality and popularity). If I were I diehard Pornhub user and I saw this video, I would say to myself, “If this is what they’re doing now, I need to find a new free porn site to fap to.” It’s that embarrassing.

    Despite the song being one of the worst songs I’ve heard all year, I will say that the video is able to redeem itself with shots of Phoenix Marie, Skin Diamond, Alexa Aimes and other hot pornstars shaking their big wet titties and asses.

    But that’s just how I feel. Watch the video for Coolio and Pornhub’s “Take It To The Hub” courtesy of Vice below:

    Oh man…

    Wasn’t that just the worst?

    Well, it wasn’t all bad. Got to see Phoenix Marie’s ass in action. Too bad it was accompanied by that terrible, terrible song.

    Let’s all cleanse our palettes of this awful music with the hottest GIFs of Phoenix Marie’s ass found on Sex.com.

    7542640 phoenix marie with a self ass slap Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: Uploaded by user via SexGifGod on Sex.com

    7233292 phoenix marie gifstitle Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: assgifsgirls.tumblr.com via MrBaits on Sex.com

    6081570 phoenix marie naughty office naughty america Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: tumblr.171gifs.com via 171gifer on Sex.com

    3727698 phoenix marie Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: gifsfromporn.tumblr.com via PP Provocador on Sex.com

    5478787 omfgsexygifs phoenix marie source more sex gifs at Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: sexypornstargallery.blogspot.com via venitez on Sex.com

    6334255 phoenix marie mommy got boobs brazzers Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

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    Source: tumblr.171gifs.com via 171gifer on Sex.com

    4203689 phoenix marie Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

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    3663181 keiran lee manuel ferrara phoenix marie 124 big butts Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

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    6944550 phoenix marie office fuck Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: Uploaded by user via Johnlyall on Sex.com

    7102795 phoenix marie riding 1 gifstitle Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    Source: onlyporngif.com via Porn Gifs Daily on Sex.com

    Ah that’s better.

    ReminderL Every time you hear a shitty rap song that puts you in a really shitty mood, looking at Phoenix Marie’s ass will always make you feel better.

    7026596 phoenix marie on the rise Coolios New Song About Pornhub Is Just Sad

    September 8, 2014 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights • Views: 5427

  • What Are The Top Porn Searches Where You Live?

    So Pornhub’s year review included the top porn searches by country and honestly, is there really any better way to get to know what a place is like than to find out what kind of porn they as a general population like to watch? Alright, I’m kidding, but I was actually just generally greatly amused by their findings. Sex.com is awesome and also made an interactive map for the fourth of July, but since Gil already talked about that one, I’m just going to link it for you here. (I wouldn’t want to steal his thunder, you know)

    Let’s start with the USA:

    Continue Reading

    August 5, 2014 • Infographics/Stories, Stuff • Views: 19211

  • UK Introduces Porn Censorship of Public Wi-Fi Spots

    Well, it begins.

    A little while ago, The Mirror, a UK based newspaper, did a little investigative journalism.  They toured around the UK, attempting to access pornographic websites like Pornhub from various free wi-fi zones.  You can probably guess what they discovered: about a quarter of the free wi-fi zones did not have any filters for adult content.  They were apparently able to access Pornhub from 32 out of the 129 zones that they tested.

    Doesn’t seem like a big deal, unless you take into account the fact that kids can access porn from public places.  I remember when I was a young man, before wi-fi even really existed.  I had to be a super careful ninja when it came to accessing porn from my family desktop.  If I knew that I could simply walk to the local bookstore with my cool iPad or whatever and spend all day looking at porn, well then fuck, my parents would have hardly ever seen me around the house.

    So what does the UK propose as a counter-measure?

    “[t]he Prime Minister called for an industry-recognized and trusted symbol, which businesses could display to show customers that their public Wi-Fi is properly filtered.”

    Makes sense.  Basically, this seems like a pretty non-intrusive way to make sure that people know that the network they’re accessing is secure, and that their kids won’t accidentally be stumbling upon Tasha Reign’s My Little Pony themed butt-plug tail site.

    But, wait a second, is it really non-intrusive?

    The Mirror can continue its campaign of shame by outing public places that fail to implement the new program, though it’s doubtful the paper will expend similar resources looking into why the government’s “overzealous” porn filters are blocking 20 percent of all websites.

    What else is new with censorship though?  You block a couple things, you block a million.

    What do you think about this?  Is the UK government abusing power by censoring content on free and easily accessible free wi-fi networks, or is this an appropriate measure of control to prevent people from accessing adult/illicit content in public places?

    Personally, I’m never down for censorship!

    6258531 damned censorship just keep watching theyre bound to slip UK Introduces Porn Censorship of Public Wi Fi Spots

    July 23, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 10233

  • Belle Knox’s Secret Stash Of Homemade Porn

    As some of you may already know, school’s out for the summer. Unfortunately that means young people are literally everywhere with absolutely nothing do, thus endangering the lives of adults everywhere. Though this summer, at least one young person is doing something cool…

    I’m of course talking about none other than the world famous Duke University pornstar Belle Knox.

    Belle Knox is currently doing an internship with Pornhub for the summer. What does that entail exactly? Well, if you’ve ever had a summer internship, you know that there’s nothing to do other than get bossed around and have people talk about your inadequacies when they think you can’t hear them but you heard every word they said and you spend the rest of the day contemplating whether or not it would be professional suicide to confront them about their harsh words but then again you don’t want to spend the next two months as their good-natured doormat either.  Ah yes, internships truly do suck.

    Belle’s on the other hand doesn’t sound so bad. Pornhub’s been teaching her all about internet marketing, branding, how the tube sites work and so on and so forth. It’s a good opportunity for someone who was unjustly thrust into the position of “Face of the Porn Industry” by the mainstream media to get a fuller understanding of how the adult industry works in this.

    Unfortunately, Belle’s internship means that she has to take time away from her other job as a pornstar…or does it?

    To keep herself in top pornstar condition during her internship, Belle Knox has been maintaining a surprisingly under-viewed Pornhub account and uploading homemade porn videos. So let’s appreciate Belle Knox’s dedication to her fans by watching some videos from Belle Knox’s secret stash of homemade porn videos:

    To stay up to date on Belle Knox’s secret stash of homemade porn videos, check out her Pornhub channel here: BELLE KNOX ON PORNHUB.

    And when you see something you like, don’t forget to pin it to your Sex.com boards!

    July 1, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn, Pornstars, Sex News • Views: 12687

  • Pornstars Read Porn Site Searches Live

    Hey guys, remember when PORNMD launched their LIVE SEARCH STREAM? That infinite scroll of searches typed into PORNMD that reveals that everyone in the world is a very strange and sexually perverted weirdo? Well, that’s a little harsh. At least we’re all perverts and it’s not just a handful of people.

    It’s actually some of the wildest pairings of words ever. In fact, some of them are so outrageous and funny…I wonder whether or not it’s real? I mean, wouldn’t you be suspicious or unwilling to use a site that publishes your porn searches into a massive scrolling piece of text for the entire internet to laugh at? I would be. So to be perfectly honest with you, I don’t think the porn searches we see in PornMD’s live search stream is real. It’s probably just a script that pairs words from a giant database for the purposes of publicity and entertainment.

    So yeah, it’s probably fake but it’s still fun.

    Speaking of fun!

    PORNHUB TV thought it would be fun to get a few of the biggest names in the adult industry (like Madison Ivy, Nicole Aniston, Dillion Harper, Kieran Lee, Monique Alexander and a bunch of other people you may never heard of). See what potential fake porn searches make your favorite pornstars and members of the adult industry laugh!

    Hilarious!

    Too bad I’m convinced it’s as fake as Madison Ivy’s boobs (ie EXTREMELY FAKE).

    via PEEPERZ

    June 13, 2014 • Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Pornstars • Views: 15420

  • Pornhubs Donates Trees for Arbour Day

    What the hell is Arbour Day exactly?  I’ve never even heard of it.  Does that make me a bad person?

    *consults Wikipedia*

    OK, so Arbour Day is an internationally observed pseudo-holiday where people are encouraged to plant, respect and look after trees.  Isn’t there already an Earth Day for all of the environmentalists?

    Anyways, as might be totally expected at this point, porn streaming bigwigs Pornhub have jumped on a holiday bandwagon and have a cool promotion running to celebrate Arbour Day, our earth, trees, and of course, watching hours and hours of videos of dudes with big dicks having sex with porn stars.

    Pornhub will be donating and planting 1 tree for every 100 videos viewed in the “Big Dicks” category.  Because trees are made of wood, and the male pornstar in the video and whoever is watching the video will both have erections…get it?

    Behind all of the tree-based puns and innuendo there’s a really great initiative that might help drum up some environmental interest in the legions of dudes that flock to Pornhub.  I’m never again planting more trees and trying to make our world a better and greener place.  We need them things to breathe, yo.

    Pornhub has even set up a totally SFW page for their promotion, which keeps track of how many trees have been donated thus far.  There’s only a couple of days left to participate, so make sure that you take the next two days off of work and spend them at home in a dark room masturbating to big dick videos.  If you don’t, you’ve let Mother Nature down and you should be totally ashamed of yourself.

    Also, to get you primed up to give back to our Earth, here’s a bunch of photos of hot babes getting naked in the forest.  There’s no better place to get naked than the forest.  You can live out your Adam & Eve or ‘roughing it’ fantasies or whatever your sick mind can think up.

    Anything goes when it comes to Arbour Day, which is now officially the new sexiest ‘holiday.’  Get to Pornhub and start watching those big dick videos, you nature-hater!

    5777270 by ilya koen via Pornhubs Donates Trees for Arbour Day

    April 30, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 16773

  • Porn site banned from donating to breast cancer charity

    BreastCancerRibbon 300x200 Porn site banned from donating to breast cancer charity

    Is a caption necessary?

    Why would a charity turn down what could have been a million dollar donation? Does the source of the donation really matter to the charity?

    Apparently, to the Susan G. Komen for the Cure it does matter. They’ve just turned down what could be a huge donation because it was offered by a porn site.

    Pornhub.com pledged earlier this week to give 1 cent for every 30 views of either their “Big Tits” or “Small Tits” section as a part of the “Save the Boobs” campaign. After all, it is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. Pornhub said, “the more boobs that are viewed, the more money would be showered upon the Foundation.”

    Continue Reading

    October 5, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 379