After hearing about the Delaware couple that was arrested for trying to have a little fun in the sun (they were arrested for having sex on the roof of a Chipotle), I thought it might be helpful to review some key points of having successful sex outdoors. Why not take advantage of the beautiful summer weather by fucking in it?
So if you’re reading to start enjoying the great outdoors in an exciting new erotic way, keep reading!
START CLOSE TO HOME!
Though it may be tempting to hike deep into the woods where you can have sex outdoors in the most majestic of settings, you don’t have to. In fact, if you’re new to having sex outdoors altogether, I wholeheartedly recommend you just pop out to your backyard (or whatever the closest open space in your neighborhood) to see if having sex outdoors is right for you.
Sex outside the bedroom isn’t for everyone. That’s a fact. Some people need a certain level of comfort to get in the mood but you’ll never know if sex outdoors is right for you until you try.
So try having sex in your backyard and see if it provides the rush you desire. Worst case scenario, you don’t like it and you can just resume having sex in the bedroom.
Actually…worst case scenario is that you’re spotted by a nosey neighbor. But if that happens, you just have to maintain eye contact with your neighbor as if to say, “Yeah my sex life is way doper than yours.” But that’s mean, so after you do that, buy them a presents as a way of apologizing them for exposing them to your dope sex life.
One thing that I especially like about sex outdoors is that it’s often rooted in spontaneity.
Like, “Look at this beautiful view from the top of the mountain we’re currently on.”
“Yeah I know. We should have sex.”
And then all of a sudden you’re having sex outdoors. Not only do you feel like you are one with your partner but also that you are one with Mother Nature. Jah Bless.
However, if you’re still new to having sex outdoors…be prepared! Make sure you pack a blanket, condoms, bug spray, sun block, potable water and whatever else you might need when you’re having sex outdoors. You may not end up using any of it, but at least you can put your mind at ease knowing that you have everything just in case. Because you want sweet memories of sex outdoors for masturbatory purposes in the coming months, not a sunburn on your ass. Or worse…bug bites on yo dick.
Preparedness doesn’t necessarily mean packing yourself a special sex outdoors emergency kit. It could just as easily mean scouting out the perfect location to get down in the bush (or perhaps on the roof of a Chipotle, I don’t know). Do whatever you need to in advance so that you’re not distracted or anxious once the time for sex is upon you.
Though your aforementioned neighbors may appreciate the gift you get them for fucking right in front of them, the police may not be so willing to overlook for indecent exposure (because it’s a crime). So have your wits about you. All your senses need to be on fire.
What I mean by that is that you can’t be totally wrapped up in the sex. You need to have your eyes and ears alert to potential intruders. Though this sounds bad, if you’re having sex in the great outdoors, keeping your senses alert will help you appreciate the grandeur of the situation. There you are, in beautiful nature (or perhaps on the roof of a Chipotle, I don’t know), basking in the view while your partner moans in harmony with the bird’s song above. Doesn’t that sound nice?
Another helpful thing to do is maybe don’t get totally undressed. Maybe it’s just me, but for me, being somewhat clothed during sex (especially sex outdoors) only enhances an atmosphere of taboo and an urgency for sex that makes everything super hot. Being somewhat clothed during your tryst will help you cover up quick in case someone’s coming. The trick then is acting casual so that no one knows what you were just up to.
Short but sweet.
Honestly, sex outdoors is easy. Try it tonight to see if it’s right for you!