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  • What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    In an effort to answer the question that nobody in the entire universe has ever asked themselves, some dudes over on the interweb surfing website Youtube have made a parody video:

    The video is made by some dudes who call themselves “Nacho Punch.” Absolutely no research whatsoever on my part has determined that these guys make parody videos for the website called Youtube.

    Wes Anderson is a divisive film-maker. On one hand, his quirky charm often leads to funny ensemble movies like The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore. On the other hand, his quirky charm often leads to insufferable garbage like Darjeeling Limited and whatever that movie is where Bill Murray quirks his way around a sub for way too long. QUIRKY.

    While I was doing some research to make this post, I noticed something which would make Wes Anderson directing a porno film very different, especially considering the female-dominated nature of the adult business.  Wes Anderson sparingly uses hot babes in his films.  If you think about it, most of his movies simply involve a bunch of quirky dudes running around causing mischief with a female foil that appears periodically.  What’s the deal Wes Anderson?  Why you gotta play me like that, Wes Anderson?  I expect an all-female cast for the next movie!

    I wonder who Wes Anderson would cast as his leading actresses if he were to make a real erotic film? To help you think about the possibilities, here are naked pictures of some of the celebrity babes that Wes Anderson has employed for some of his non-pornographic regular movies:

    Gwyneth Paltrow

    4223325 gwyneth paltrow imagining your sighs moans erotic cries as What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: google.com via Terror Bride on Sex.com

    5798568 gwyneth paltrow What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?
    3400061 gwyneth paltrow two lovers What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: Uploaded by user via cam hayes on Sex.com

    Source: blondechicks.markgallery.org via SexyLadiesPics on Sex.com

    2759521 gwyneth paltrow sexy magazines scans What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: easycelebritys.com via kcleb on Sex.com

    Natalie Portman

    2662888 natalie portman What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: imagefap.com via Logan K on Sex.com

    2389818 natalie portman What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: mytasteofwomen.tumblr.com via Hornygenius12 on Sex.com

    5812919 natalie portman black swan What Would Happen if Wes Anderson Made a Porno?

    Source: Uploaded by user via SexyandFun on Sex.com

    Well, you know what, it turns out that Wes Anderson doesn’t actually employ very many sexy actresses. Makes sense considering most of his movies are total circle-jerk bro-fests. Just joking, I like the guy.

    via Jezebel

    May 5, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 19573

  • The Price of Owning a Penis

    Earlier this week, we found out that the average woman spends approximately $2,663.02 on her vagina every year. Learning how much vaginas cost made us wonder, how much do men spend on penis maintenance annually?

    Our initial guess was anywhere from $0 to $300. But that was just a guess. Now, we’re happy to announce that we’ve figured out how much you might be spending on your penis. And it’s shocking…

    tumblr mf19beKnWB1rs2jpso1 400 The Price of Owning a Penis

    Vajazzling for Men is very expensive.

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    February 13, 2013 • Reviews, Sex, Sex & Dating Tips, Toys • Views: 2596

  • Reasons to love Ron Jeremy

    Ron Jeremy is currently in critical condition due to an aneurysm near his heart. Hopefully, he pulls through. He’s a total weirdo but we can’t help but love him.

    RonJeremy 1 Reasons to love Ron Jeremy

    Love you, dog.

    While we have our fingers crossed, hoping that he’ll recover, we’d like to share with you  our Top 10 Reasons to love Ron Jeremy.
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    January 30, 2013 • TOP 10's • Views: 1467

  • Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 1) – Sex Art Kit

    But anyone who has tried to go shopping for their special someone on Valentine’s day knows that Valentine’s Day is really a holiday where you walk around the mall developing an ulcer and then you go to dinner empty-handed and your wife hands you divorce papers.

    Finding that perfect gift for your wife, girlfriend, mistress, crush, or favorite prostitute is never easy. The same is true for finding that perfect gift for your husband, boyfriend, boy toy, man-crush, or favorite gigolo (no sexism on this blog). Since we made sure you had the perfect Christmas with our Christmas Gift Guide, we knew we would have to bail you out again for Valentine’s Day.

    So let’s rip open this big heart shaped box of chocolates that is Sex.com’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 1) and shovel it down our throats.

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    January 29, 2013 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 510

  • The Normal Bar sex survey

    couple1 The Normal Bar sex survey

    Sex, it’s great. Do it more.

    Do you ever find yourself asking, “What is normal?” It’s only natural to wonder because your daily routine, habits, quirks, whatever all seem normal to you. This is especially true of sex. Your sex routine is something that very few people get to see so it can hard to judge whether or not it’s normal.

    A new book, The Normal Bar, has painstakingly surveyed almost 100,000 people from around the world to finally determine what is normal when it comes to sex.

    While we can’t give you all the info that The Normal Bar dug up, we can give you a preview of it.

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    January 22, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 411

  • Spongebob Porn Parody & Rule 34

    Woodrocket.com announced today that they will be releasing a SpongeBob SquarePants porn parody as a free five-part series called SpongeKnob SquareNuts. Director Lee Roy Myers, who you may remember from such porn parodies as The Simpsons Porn Parody, Family Guy Porn Parody, and The Big Lebowski Porn Parody, described his latest work as, “something much funnier, sexier, and we’re going to hell-ier.”

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    January 18, 2013 • DVDs/New Releases, Porn, Porn News & Highlights, Reviews • Views: 2274

  • Evolution proven with chimp’s porn habit

    chimp likes katy perry 300x252 Evolution proven with chimps porn habit

    Chimp knows to stare directly at Katy Perry’s cleavage…We are so much alike…

    When debating the origins of man, once and a while some hothead likes to ask the question, “Oh really? So you’re saying we’re all just a bunch of monkeys?” The answer is always no. We’re not monkeys, we’re homo sapiens. But still, there are similarities between primates and humans that reinforce theory that we are descended from the same species.

    The most recent example of our similarities comes from a chimp living in the Seville Zoo in Spain named Gina. To lighten up her stay, zoo officials put a TV and a remote control in her enclosure. Within a few days, not only did Gina master the remote control  but she was watching exclusively pornography on her TV.

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    January 14, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 1010

  • Bikini waxes are killing crabs

    bikiniblonde Bikini waxes are killing crabs

    Not a bikini wax, just a blonde babe in a bikini

    To all the women who have endured the searing pain (and possible pleasure?) of a bikini wax, we would like to take this opportunity to thank you. Not only because a waxed/well-groomed vagina is aesthetically pleasing and feels cool but because pubic hair’s unpopularity is getting rid of pubic lice (aka CRABS).

    Over the last decade, where pubic grooming has become more and more popular, doctors in the U.S. and Australia have noticed a dramatic decline in the number of people affected by crabs. The largest sexual health clinic in Sydney, Australia has not seen a woman with a case of pubic lice since 2008.

    “Pubic grooming has led to a severe depletion of crab louse populations,” said Ian F. Burgess, a medical entomologist with Insect Research & Development Ltd. in Cambridge, England. “Add to that other aspects of body hair depilation, and you can see an environmental disaster in the making for this species.” Wait…What? Continue Reading

    January 14, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 721

  • Christmas Gift Guide (Part 5): Oral Sex

    holiday sexy 300x300 Christmas Gift Guide (Part 5): Oral SexChristmas is only four days away, which means that it’s time to make that one final push to get everyone you know the perfect gift.

    But because Christmas is so soon, the only thing you’ll find at the mall is hysteria. People running around, knocking over shelves, fighting each other for the last Turboman doll because they missed their son’s karate class.

    There’s no bigger pain in the neck than Christmas shopping, which is why Sex.com has its top Christmas experts searching for the perfect Christmas presents so you don’t get swept up in the hysteria. So let’s see what they have for us today in Sex.com’s Christmas Gift Guide (Part 5).

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    December 21, 2012 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 1111

  • Play “Apocalypse-Sex” Bingo

    So the world may or may not end sometime tomorrow. Most likely not but that doesn’t mean people aren’t throwing caution to the wind and looking for one final night of passion just in case the world really does end.

    And just in case the world is gone after Friday, we’ve put together a fun little game for you to play in order to get the most out of the end of the world (sexually, anyway).

    Like we always say, “If you’re gonna go out…go out with a bang.”

    We can’t spend anymore time on this boring preamble. Every second could be your last! Check out Sex.com’s Apocalypse Sex Bingo now!

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    December 20, 2012 • Funny, Stuff • Views: 555

  • Lupe Fuentes, porn star/musician?

    Lupe Fuentes 21 193x300 Lupe Fuentes, porn star/musician?

    Lupe Fuentes at the AVN Awards. Next stop, Grammy’s!

    There’s nothing that excites us more than when porn stars branch out into new medias (also seeing them naked and performing various sex acts on camera can be pretty exciting).

    The most recent addition to this club is that tiny latina you know and love, Lupe Fuentes. She’s recorded a single with her new group The Ex Girlfriends.

    We’re about two weeks late in posting this but who cares we’ve been busy improving the site for all you ingrates. Better late than never…

    Continue Reading

    December 14, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 494

  • Christmas Gift Guide: Musical Vibrators!

    Christmas. It really is the greatest time of year.

    For only a few more days, the government will be lifting its embargo on Egg Nog and you can throw out all those gallons of milk you bought yesterday. You can now live in sweet ecstasy, slurping back a thick cup of Nog. Some people like to put a little rum in it…

    …it’s a good way to keep nice and warm ;).

    There is one catch. You have to buy expensive and thoughtful presents while you’re out buying Egg Nog. AND NO, Egg Nog is not an expensive and thoughtful present. It’s cheap and lazy and very delicious.

    What is there to buy other than Egg Nog? Don’t worry, we’ve found the perfect gifts this Christmas and we’re proud to share them with you in part three of Sex.com’s Christmas Gift Guide!

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    December 13, 2012 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 852

  • Anne Hathaway’s upskirt

    anne hathaway upskirt 1720233 Anne Hathaways upskirt

    Anne Hathaway’s junk

    So Monday night, Anne Hathaway was getting out of a limousine to attend the premier of her new movie Les Misérables.

    She had a little oops. As she explained to Vanity Fair, “I was getting out of the car and my dress was so tight that I didn’t realize it until I saw all the photographers’ flashes. It was devastating.”

    But really, is it that big of a deal?

    Had anyone seen her movie Havoc, you would’ve seen a whole lot more. Or maybe not, I don’t know. I haven’t seen Havoc, no one has. Apparently she’s a real bad girl in it, showing her boobs and presumably flashing her vagina as she gets out of limousines.

    I’d like to speak directly to Ms Hathaway, if I may…

    Continue Reading

    December 12, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 1720

  • Sex.com’s Christmas Gift Guide (Part 2)

    Thousands of years ago, the holiday we know as Christmas used to be a lot different…

    Christians everywhere would gather together for eight nights, from December 24th until the 31st, to light their Christian-Menoras to celebrate the birth of their Lord. However, this eight day form of Christmas was shockingly similar to the Jewish tradition of Hanukkah.

    To differentiate themselves from the Jews, St. Nicholas (the artist formerly known as Santa Claus) tabled a motion to turn Christmas from eight days of lights to one fabulous day of presents. The new Christmas was so popular, we continue to celebrate it today.

    However, when St. Nick came up with his “one day of presents” idea, there was very little variety in consumer goods. As time went on it became harder and harder to shop for people for Christmas. With so many great products available, the only way to shop is being told what to buy from a pornography website’s Blog.

    That’s why The Sex.com Blog is proud to present the second part of Sex.com’s Christmas Gift Guide (Part 2).

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    December 10, 2012 • Reviews, Toys • Views: 520

  • Tori Black: Comedian?

    Tori Black 2009 200x300 Tori Black: Comedian?

    Tori Black does raunchy comedy bit

    In our last post, we were talking about Tasha Reign’s first anal scene and with it completed she’s now done it all.

    But as far as porn stars go, no one can contest that Tori Black has done it all. You don’t win AVN’s Female Performer of the Year three times in a row like Tori Black by coincidence.

    Of course, just like having sex, there is always a danger that once you’ve on top for three years in a row, you’re ready to move to a different position (for example missionary or doggystyle). So porn fans, I want you to ask yourselves, “Are we in danger of losing Tori Black?”

    While it may seem unlikely, Tori’s been hanging out with a bad crowd recently. Is it drugs? Gangs? By conventional standards, pornography is pretty bad.

    Luckily, I have some evidence from a YouTube video:

    Continue Reading

    November 21, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 640

  • Sex.com discusses Star Wars Episode VII

    It’s been an eventful week…

    Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc across the eastern United States. A new Kim Kardashian sex tape emerged and then was written off as a fake. Lady Gaga and Rhianna both dressed up in weed-related costumes for Halloween.

    But really, there was no bigger news story than Disney’s 4 billion dollar acquisition of Lucasfilm and the announcement that there will be a Star Wars Episode VII Continue Reading

    November 7, 2012 • Funny, Stuff • Views: 629

  • Checkin’ in with Sasha Grey

    sashagrey2 300x224 Checkin in with Sasha Grey

    What up, Sasha Grey?

    Last time we heard from Sasha Grey, she was preparing for her erotic literature debut. However, that was months ago and many of us have been wondering what the retired porn superstar has been doing with her time. Well, I have good news for you because she’s not loafing around on the computer like you and I.

    Sasha Grey is busy making music. Her band, aTelecine, made their live debut Saturday, October 20th at Poland’s UNSOUND festival.

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    October 26, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 524

  • Odds are your homemade porn has been leaked

    248012 bathroom mirror cellphone sexy pic 216x300 Odds are your homemade porn has been leaked

    HOT AMATEUR EX-GIRLFRIEND LEAKED iPHONE PICS!

    Ever notice that whenever a private porn picture of any public figure makes in it onto the internet, it also makes headlines? Is any one even surprised to see a grainy cellphone picture of their congressman/sports hero/favorite actress?

    It will always be fun to look at just because we’re all a bunch of voyeurs but the fact is, no one should be surprised when homemade porn (pics and vids, y’all) get leaked online.

    Why?

    The number one reason is because everybody makes a little porn in their time, obviously.

    The second reason is that a new study from Britain has concluded that 88% of homemade porn pics and vids, y’all make their way onto the internet. Sites the study nicknamed “parasites” host images and videos that can come from lost or stolen cellphones, hacked private accounts on social media sites, chat sites, and of course Tumblr.

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    October 25, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 773

  • Charity porn site Come4.org seeking donations

     Charity porn site Come4.org seeking donations

    Cum4.org was too expensive of a domain

    Most of us when we watch pornography we feel horny or sleepy or sometimes horny and sleepy. But do you ever feel unfulfilled when watching pornography?

    Not that watching pornography is unfulfilling, we should all be watching much more pornography specifically on Sex.com. But when you’re watching a nubile young women perform sex you could never have, does your mind wander to the environment or poverty around the world and you have to wonder what you could be doing to help?

    I think it’s safe to assume that it’s very rare that we ever consider anything but what is currently happening on the screen. However, if you do find yourself distracted by world issues while watching pornography then Come4.org is exactly what you need.

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    October 9, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 0

  • New German alcohol distilled with boobs for sensual taste experience

    54789 gallery 300x205 New German alcohol distilled with boobs for sensual taste experience

    Pouring too much rum onto breasts has been known to cause pixelation

    Boobs and booze are a match made in heaven, right?

    You have a drink and you’re ready to see some boobs. In rare cases, women or “chicks” have a drink and they are ready to show their boobs.

    But what about a booze that’s made with boobs? Is that just some pervert-alcoholic’s dream?

    No, it’s not.

    G Spirits has made it a reality.

    G Spirits is a new alcohol company from Germany that bottles their rum, whiskey, and vodka after it has been run between the breasts of a model (a model with big boobs).

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    October 5, 2012 • Sex News • Views: 664