Stock photo of sexy woman eating cereal
Cereal is something we’ve always tried to stay away from here at the Sex.com Blog. Which is tough because we love Seinfeld and Jerry Seinfeld always made it look very delicious.
The reason we’ve always tried to stay away from cereal is because of its anti-sexual past. Cereal anti-sexual? Yes, cereal has an anti-sexual past. Get ready for a little history lesson.
Ferdinand Schumacher created the first breakfast cereal in 1854 with a hand oat grinder in some dingy Akron, Ohio basement. Originally, breakfast cereal was intended to be a cheap replacement for breakfast pork.
Anyways, fast forward a couple of years to John Harvey Kellogg at the Battle Creek Sanitarium in Michigan. The Battle Creek Sanitarium was a health resort whose practices were based on the Seventh-day Adventist Church.
Kellogg believed that masturbation and sex were the cause of most health problems. So to cure people of their natural sexual urges (and by extension, illnesses), Kellogg fed his patients Corn Flakes. Because nothing kills the urges like a meatless, flavorless, sugarless breakfast.
Ironically, Kellogg also regularly gave the patients of the Battle Creek Sanitarium yogurt enemas. We’re not sure what the purpose of the yogurt enemas was but one thing’s for sure, that’s some kinky shit.
Because John Harvey Kellogg used cereal to kill the sex drives of his patients, we’ve been anti-cereal since the mid-20th century. However, now there’s a cereal made to improve your sex life. It’s called SexCereal and it’s completely changed our position on eating cereal for breakfast. Let us tell you all about it.