Welcome back to another edition of Chico’s Sex Advice where I use all my expertise as a sexpert to answer any questions my beloved readers may have about sex.
If you need sex advice or if you have a question about sex that needs answering, feel free to send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org OR use the contact form and I’ll answer as quickly as possible.
Today’s question comes from JOHNNY ANONYMOUS:
“Hi Chico. I was just wondering how I should ask my long distance girlfriend to have a sex chat with me? You know, I want to ask her in a way that won’t be rude or offensive to her. Thanks!”
EXCELLENT QUESTION, JOHNNY ANONYMOUS!
How does one broach the topic of engaging in a sex chat with a significant other that’s hundreds of miles away?
Let me start by commending you for committing to a long distance relationship. Anyone who has been in a long distance relationship (including myself) will tell anyone that opts for a long distance relationship in lieu of breaking up that you’re making a terrible decision. Even relationships where you and your significant other live in the same city can be a massive undertaking. Long distance only amplifies the workload and rarely yields the same rewards.
Aside from the few and far between days you spend together while in a long distance relationship (which are often amazing because it’s whole days having non-stop sex), the majority of your time together is spent on the phone, on Skype or whatever your preferred method of communication having the most mundane conversations about the daily going-ons of your life. More often than not (at least in my own experience), you end up cancelling plans with friends just to talk about nothing with your significant other as a means of proving you’re still faithful to your partner. And over time, you start resent your significant other because all you end up doing is keeping each other updated on how your lives are growing apart.
So how can we avoid this resentment and the feeling that you’re growing apart? Well, in my mind the simplest solution is to make it more fun and worth your while with a sex chat.
But how to bring it up?
If I were you, I’d start by dropping hints in your conversation that you’d like to turn this daily update into a sex chat. Say something like, “Everyone’s away for the weekend. It’s so lonely in this apartment. What would you do with me if you were here with me right now?” And then if she replies with something like, “I’d fuck you in every room of your apartment. We’d fuck on every fuckable surface in your home.” She’s taken the bait and before you know it, you’re having the sex chat you’ve longed for.
Of course, your girlfriend might be the shy type and may not engage in a sex chat so freely. If that’s the case, wait until you’re having a late-night Skype session. The idea here is that she’ll be on Skype in some comfortable bedtime clothes like a tank top or crop top or a big billowing T-shirt. If she’s dressed as such, remind her how much you miss her…specifically her body. Then beg for a little tease. You never know, she might be super flattered and let you see some titty. From there you can escalate into a more serious sex chat.
But the best way to ask your long distance girlfriend to have a sex chat with you is simply by being direct. Just ask her straight up, “Would you ever consider having a sex chat with me?” Though you will struggle to ask this question due to its awkward nature, it’s honestly the best way to find out if a sex chat will ever be on the table. Chances are that she’ll be interested because she’s in this relationship too. She has to put up with making her schedule around keeping in contact with you as well with little reward too. It’s not rude to gauge her interest.
Maybe she’ll be receptive to the idea of webcamming but not phone sex. Maybe she’ll want to sext and nothing more. Sexuality is a highly individual thing that can be manifested and expressed in a number of different ways. That’s why you need to take a deep breath, muster up some confidence, throw caution to the wind and ask if she’s ever considered having a sex chat. If so, you can guys can then work out the terms of your sex chatting. But as Wayne Gretzky said…you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So take this shot and you might just score!
As long as you’re not forcing a sex chat, I have a feeling that she’ll be receptive to the idea simply because it will help stoke the fires of your passionate relationship. Right?
Worse case scenario, you can cite growing apart and resentment I spoke about earlier in this post. But first and foremost, gauge her interest and explain to her why engaging in some playful sex chats is something you think could help maintain a healthy long distance relationship. Just because you’re miles away doesn’t mean your sex lives need to take a hit.
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