Considering how extensive and popular our Self-Shot category is, I’m hesitant to suggest that you should stop saving/sending sexy selfies on your smartphone. Nude selfies of hot babes make our digital world go around, and I don’t want to discourage sexy babes from pinning pictures of themselves to our site. I’m not a monster. I know our legion of faithful users would kill me.
Officially, Snapchat is a photo messaging application that allows users to take photos, record videos and add text or doodle all over them before they’re gone forever in ten seconds or less. That’s how Snapchat would like to be known as.
In reality, Snapchat is an app that facilitates safe-sexts. The only real use for Snapchat is to take pictures of your dick, or perhaps boobs if you’re a lady, and send them to people you know when you’re feeling real horny. The reason Snapchat is the most effective way to share your dick pics is because once opened, your dick pic will disappear forever within the time you selected for it to last. Therefore, the likelihood of you being blackmailed a la Anthony Weiner is lower than with email or text messages.
I say “lower” rather than “eliminate” because it is still possible for the receiver of the dick pic to screenshot your dick pic before it disappears. At least Snapchat notifies the sender of the dick pic so they can at least anticipate a blackmail in the upcoming future.
However, Snapchat’s status as the most effective way to send safe-sexts is now being challenged by popular hook-up app Tinder. Their ephemeral photo sharer is known as “Moments” and it could really change the way you send dick pics.
According to Tinder CEO Sean Rad (nice name you fucking loser), Tinder Moments should make it easier for people to star conversations on the app. Because when you can’t muster the courage to type “Yo”, at least now you can just take your pants off and snap a pick of your flaccid penis.
Now I know what you’re thinking…”Why should I take a picture of my flaccid penis?”
Easy. You start by showing your flaccid penis to open the conversation. Then, if the person you’re sexting on Tinder hasn’t already blocked you, they’ll write something like, “Yo, is that your dick?”
Then you come back with, “Yeah it is. And if you like the look of my flaccid penis, then wait until you see my erect penis!”
Whether or not you proceed with sharing a picture of your erect penis or try to entice them to see it in person is totally up to you. The point is not to give it all away. Just like a job interview. The person who gets hired is not the person who begs for the job, or the most docile candidate. The people that get worked the hardest to snag are the candidates who knew their own value. Simple as that.
Tinder’s Moments feature not only allows users to take a photo but also add a filter, doodle all over it, write a message and broadcast it to all their Tinder matches. Meanwhile, your Tinder matches will be able to view and like the photos for 24 hours before they disappear.
What’s interesting about Tinder’s sexting feature is that the person who took the photo can keep their own gallery of “moments” forever. So rather than taking a new picture of your flaccid penis every time you get a new Tinder match, you’ll be able to amass a collection of your most flattering flaccid penis pictures and send the ones you feel are the most appropriate for your latest match.
While I do think it’s cool that Tinder has added a new sexting feature, I wonder whether or not Sean “Nice Name You Fucking Loser” Rad is right about sending pictures being easier than writing a message.
Is it just me or is there some made up holiday for every single day of the year? For example, I bet you didn’t know that today (March 20th) is International Day of Happiness.
What is International Day of Happiness?
It’s the lovechild of the United Nations and Action For Happiness to promote real happiness and not consumer happiness. They believe that real happiness doesn’t come from buying and consuming commercial goods. Which is a nice idea but it’s awfully presumptuous. Who are they to say that the happiness I feel when buying a new, fly pair of shoes is any less real than the happiness I feel when a fly lady puts her titties in my face? It’s all happiness.
Twitter has officially banned porn on Vine. The company announced the rule change on Thursday and began enforcing it immediately.
Personally, I think that banning porn from Vine is the single dumbest idea since Vine was first released. I mean, does anyone actually use Vine for anything other than the porn?
“As we’ve watched the community and your creativity grow and evolve, we’ve found that there’s a very small percentage of videos that are not a good fit for our community,” the company said in a post announcing the new rules.
Sorry Twitter, I love you but you’re going to have to provide me with some real numbers, otherwise I’m not convinced.
The new rules forbid videos of any sex acts as well as sexually explicit animations and nudity. Twitter will enforce the new rules by getting Vine users to flag other Vine members using the “Report this post” option. Anyone who violates the new rules will have their account suspended until they delete the offending Vine. Repeat posters might have their account permanently suspended.
There is some good news though. Twitter won’t be blocking all nudity from Vine. It will make exceptions for any nudity that is documentary, artistic or educational. I haven’t been on Vine for a while but from what I know about nudity and the internet, porn ceases to be porn if it’s in black and white. Any nudity that’s presented in black and white is considered “art”. So if you can add a black and white filter to Vine, your nudes should be protected.
It was only a matter of time before Vine banned porn. Sure it sucks, but whatever. I hope the new porn social media craze is pornstars auctioning off their Snapchat username to send some lucky fans some personalized Snapchat nudes. Fingers crossed!
While we wait for your favorite pornstar to auction off her Snapchat username, I recommend revisiting all those old Vine Porn of the Weekposts to get one final dose of vine porn before it’s all over.
Bad news everyone who uses Snapchat…Snapchat’s been hacked!
The beloved sexting app released an update that would allow users to opt out of the “Find Friends” feature, which unfortunately allowed hackers to collect the usernames and phone numbers of approximately 4.6 million users. Continue Reading
The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Snapchat, the app that makes sexting safe, turned down an acquisition offer of approximately 3 billion dollars from Facebook.
Facebook desperately wants a piece of Snapchat because the young teens aren’t using Facebook, they’re using Snapchat.
Snapchat’s founder, Evan Spiegel, will not likely consider an acquisition or investment until early next year. He feels that Snapchat will continue to grow over the course of next year, which will justify an even larger cash-out.
Unfortunately for Mr. Spiegel, Snapchat could just be a fad. A new, more sext-friendly app could be released within the next year and make Snapchat totally irrelevant. Regardless, I still respect him for turning down 3 billion dollars because who couldn’t use 3 billion dollars? Oh the things I would do for 3 billion dollars…
More importantly, I’m glad that Snapchat has yet to sell itself to Facebook because Facebook would surely find a way to censor Snapchat and get rid of nude Snapchats. I don’t know how, but I do know that Facebook hates sex and porn. Therefore if Facebook were to acquire Snapchat, it would only be a matter of time until nude Snapchats were a thing of the past. Just look at how terrible Instagram has become since Facebook took it over.
Though this is just the insane speculation of your favorite sex blogger and not based in fact whatsoever, this Thanksgiving I’m thankful for the preservation of nude Snapchats.
Let’s look at some nude Snapchats and thank Evan Spiegel for deciding that they were not worth losing, even for 3 billion dollars: Continue Reading