Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac volumes 1 and 2 are supposed to be 242 minutes of raunchy sex. Normally I’d be first in line to see a movie all about sex, but knowing that it was directed by Lars Von Trier ultimately makes it not worth seeing because that dude is twisted.
Dancer In The Dark made me want to kill myself and I had to gouge my eyes out after seeing Charlotte Gainsbourg’s amateur female circumcision in Antichrist. After watching those two agonizing Lars Von Trier movies, I’ve totally sworn off seeing any of his work, especially if it’s about sex. I would hate to have sex ruined for me just because some Danish director’s only way to cope with depression is by making movies.
The only reason I ever even contemplated seeing Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac was because I knew that the sexy actress Stacy Martin would be making her big nude debut. However, I quickly realized that though Stacy Martin is the new girl on the block, she’s sexy enough that someone will endure the pain of watching Nymphomaniac while taking screen caps of every moment where Stacy Martin appears nude.
And I’m happy to say that the internet did not let us down! Someone out there actually watched Nymphomaniac and managed to get all of Stacy Martin’s nude and sex scenes. So let’s all take a moment to thank the internet for making it possible to see Stacy Martin nude without having to watch this terrible movie. Continue Reading