Before I ever set foot in the Sex.com offices, I had always assumed that nobody knew anything about sex. Now, after writing sex tips and giving sex advice to the readers of the Sex.com Blog for nearly two years, I’ve realized that I was wrong.
People actually do know a lot about sex. Unfortunately 99% of what people think they know about sex is wrong.
Who is to blame for the perpetuation of misinformation? I blame the inadequate sex education most people receive in school. The only thing I remember from sex education in school was an animated short with a voiceover saying, “Penises are a lot like noses. They all come in different shapes and sizes.” And the only reason I remember that lesson is because it maybe me feel better about my own disfigured penis and while the voiceover was comparing penises to noses, a million different animated penises were flying across the screen all wearing the classic mustache and glasses disguise to make them more like noses? That image of millions of penises wearing that hilarious disguise still haunts me to this day.
to help you forget about all those penises wearing the mustache and glasses disguise to help you have more pleasurable, safer sex, I’d like to talk about the Top 10 Misconceptions About Sex. So if you’re ready to find out that you’ve been doing sex wrong all these years, continue reading.
10. Men don’t fake orgasms
Faking orgasms isn’t just for women. Men do it too. Of course, male fake orgasms are slightly trickier than their female counterpart because men discharge when they cum. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
If you’re wondering why men fake orgasms, it’s simple. Not being able to orgasm can make your partner feel inadequate and sad. So it’s better just to grunt and make a stupid face when they’re through thrusting to preserve their partner’s sexual confidence.
9. Oral sex and anal sex are safer than vaginal sex.
NOPE! Almost all STIs can be passed on through unprotected vaginal sex can also be passed on through unprotected oral and anal sex. Herpes, warts, gonorrhea, hepatitis, chlamydia, syphilis, and HIV can all be contracted orally or anally. Oral sex is certainly less risky compared to vaginal and anal sex, but just for your own safety wear a condom!
8. Oral sex and anal sex don’t count as real sex.
Some people seem to think that having oral sex or anal sex instead of vaginal sex is a way of circumventing losing their virginity and still being able to have sex. Absolutely not true. “Sex” is in the name, therefore if it’s in your mouth or your ass, you’re having sex.
7. Vaginas all look a like
I blame porn for this one, because porn rarely features any girls with large labias or anything. For whatever reason, almost all the vaginas you see in porn are the same, which is not indicative of vaginas around the world. This lack of vaginal variety in porn has led to more and more women getting labiaplasty surgery to make their vaginas look “normal” when in fact there’s nothing wrong with their vaginas.If penises come in all shapes and sizes like noses, then vaginas are like lips…THEY COME IN DIFFERENT SHAPES AND SIZES.
6. Two condoms are better than one.
NO. I understand why people assume that two condoms are better than one, because two of everything is better than one almost always. Double the condom, double the protection. Well, you’re totally wrong if you think that.”Double-bagging” can increase the friction of the latex, making them more likely to rip or tear. One condom (male condom or female condom) is all you need.
5. Pulling out is an effective method of birth control.
According to this article
, more and more people are pulling out as a means of contraception. THAT’S REAL STUPID.Withdrawal is significantly less effective at preventing pregnancy as compared to other methods. Now, if you’re pulling out because a lifetime of watching porn has given you an obsession with cumshots
, then by all means do it. But don’t assume for one second that pulling is a substitute for condoms or the pill.
4. Penis size is important.
ThoughtCatalog.com asked 50 women about their thoughts on penis size. Of the 50, only 6 said that bigger was better.
Truth is, size only matters to people that let it matter. Motion, rapport, depth of intimacy, lovemaking skills, and/or positions often have more to do with partner satisfaction than size. But if you’re still concerned about your penis size, then you should read this: Satisfying Women with Your Tiny Penis.
3. Women can achieve an orgasm from penetration alone.
Most women don’t achieve an orgasm from vaginal sex alone. It’s possible for sure, but according to data from a 2009 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, most women (about 2/3) have orgasms when they have sex, and this could be from vaginal, clitoral, breast or other kinds of stimulation.
The key is diversity of stimulation. Women are sophisticated creatures and if you want to make one cum then you’re going to have to explore all of her erogenous zones.
2. The clitoris is a fun button that will give women instant orgasms.
This basically the same point as #3, but it’s worth stating again. You need to diversify your attention to all areas of a woman’s body. You can’t just go storming straight to the clitoris and hope for results. Though stimulating the clitoris is never a bad idea, but too much attention could be more painful than pleasurable.So diversify! Have some fun! Don’t be so simple minded when it comes to sex.
1. Vaginas are not Fleshlights.
What do I mean when I say, “Vaginas are not Fleshlights”?Well, though Fleshlights look and feel like vaginas, you should know that they aren’t the same. Fleshlights are a male masturbation toy. When you use a Fleshlight, you should feel totally free to fap yourself silly, pounding away at that fake vagina. However, you can’t just jackhammer a vagina. Women know when you’re using their bodies to masturbate and they don’t like.
I know it’s tempting to do what that dude in the GIF above is doing to Stoya, but it’s not good sex. Simply pounding away, using a real live vagina as if it were a common Fleshlight is a surefire turnoff. There’s no nuance, no build-up, no feeling when you’re using a vagina like a masturbatory aid. It also signifies sexual inexperience or selfishness, which are not very attractive qualities. Rather than mindlessly thrusting away, you want to vary your speed throughout the sex. Gauge your partner’s response and let it inform your movements. If she asks you to go harder, then go harder. But if the moment calls for a slower approach, then slow it down. After all, you’re not alone, you’re working together to have great sex.
Obviously, there are more than 10 misconceptions about sex out there. In fact, it was tough to decide which 10 misconceptions about sex I would attempt to clear up for you today. Hopefully, you’ve learned something useful. But if you have a question about sex or you need some advice, you can always…
And I’ll be happy to answer your sex questions via blog post.