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  • 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Independence Day is tomorrow! And while we’re all looking forward to celebrating the birth of the greatest nation in the world by blowing up a small chunk of it with fireworks, there’s another way we should all be celebrating the 4th of July: 4th of July Role Play.

    Of course, it’s not always that easy to come out with role play scenarios that fit the holiday spirit, so to help you and your partner engage in the best damn 4th of July role play you’ve ever had, the distinguished staff of the Sex.com Blog has come up with some options to get you started. After all, no holiday is complete without role play scenarios.

    So without further ado, here are some Sex.com Blog approved 4th of July Role Play scenarios:

    APPLE PIE ROLE PLAY SCENARIO:

    What could possibly be more American than eating apple pie on the 4th of July? Nothing. At least that’s what the recently divorced hot blonde next door thinks, which is why she’s been baking apple pies all day long.

    The sweet aroma of the apple pies draws you to her windowsill. When she notices you standing outside her home, salivating profusely because all you can think about is eating that sweet, sweet pie, she leans out the window and says, “Would you like to come in for some pie?” Of course, you oblige and she says, “Come around and let yourself in, the front door is open.”

    So you go around to the front door and walk to the kitchen. However, the recently divorced hot blonde is nowhere to be found. You start helping yourself to a piece of pie when suddenly you hear her voice: “Hey!”

    You turn around and see that she’s wearing nothing but an apron. She pulls up the apron revealing her pussy. Shocked, you drop the piece of pie. She says, “I thought maybe you’d like to have a piece of this first…” And of course, the “this” in that sentence refers to her pussy.

    Incredible sex ensues.

    3851108 baking with kelly carrington 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Source: cherrypiebabes.com via felixblush on Sex.com

    For more eroticism, try incorporating the flour, the apples, the rolling pie and whatever else is around the kitchen to the role play scenario.

    SLICK WILLY CLINTON ROLE PLAY SCENARIO:

    You are the President of the United States and the 4th of July is the one day where you can just kick back and relax. There’s nothing for you to do besides relax in the Presidential bed and that’s what you intend to do all day…until your Presidential phone rings. “Hello?” you say somewhat annoyed. This is your one day of rest from running the greatest nation in the world.

    “I’m sorry to bother you Mr. President.” It’s your most trusted and hottest aide on the other end and she seems nervous. “I know this is your one day off from running the greatest nation in the world but it’s very important that you come to the Oval Office immediately.”

    Frustrated, yet concerned, you throw on your Presidential bathrobe and march over to the Oval Office. When you arrive at the West Wing, the place is completely deserted. Everyone else is enjoying their holiday. Oh the price you pay for being elected President…

    You sit down at your desk, wondering where your sexy aide could be. You grab the phone and call her…and that’s when you hear her phone ringing from beneath your desk. You look down to see your aide on her knees, already undoing your pants. She whispers erotically, “Happy birthday Mr. President.”

    Unfortunately, it’s not your birthday. It’s the country’s birthday. This mistake is quite alarming, causing you to question her qualifications as a Presidential aide. I mean, c’mon. Why does she think your birthday is today? Because you’re President? That’s weird.

    But by the time your half-erect penis is enveloped by her beautiful, full, bright red lips, you’ve forgotten all about the birthday thing and her impending performance review. It’s time to just relax and get blown in the Oval Office like Bill Clinton.

    2292999 incredible bj pic with hot blonde 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Source: subgirlygirl.tumblr.com via sluthalia on Sex.com

    ZERO DARK SEXY ROLE PLAY SCENARIO:

    You’re a hot CIA agent, not unlike Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty. Ok exactly like Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty.

    You’ve captured a man you suspect to be cooperating with terrorists. And if there’s one thing you hate more than anything in the world, it’s people cooperating with terrorists…especially terrorists that are trying to destroy America.

    Normally you’re an interrogation ace but your latest prisoner has shown no signs of breaking even though you’ve run through every torture interrogation technique in the CIA handbook. Your superiors are pressuring to find some intriguing new evidence or else he’ll have to be released (thanks for nothing Congress!). All seems lost until you notice a large swarm of bees circling some honey that one of your coworkers spilled on the ground from the 4th of July picnic the staff had earlier that day…which reminds you of the old addage, “You catch more bees with honey than vinegar.”

    While watching the bees swarm the honey, you ask yourself, “Perhaps I could implicate this suspected terrorist conspirator with my honey flavored pussy rather than vinegary torture interrogation techniques.”

    So you enter the suspect’s cell and ask the guards to tie him to a chair and tie the chair to the bars. Then you tell the guards to buzz off because this isn’t going to be pretty. The suspect is visibly nervous. He demands to know what you’re going to do with him.

    You smile and pace around, “What am I going to do with you? How about I show you?” You unbutton your blouse and slide off your skirt. “Do you like it?” you ask. He seems intrigued. You remove your bra and panties so that you’re totally nude in the cell with the suspected terrorist.

    You climb up the bars so that he’s face to face with your honey flavored pussy. He tries to lick it but you push his face back. “Only if you tell me what I want to know.” Unable to resist the allure of your honey flavored pussy directly in his face, he tells you a small kernel of information you already knew. “Good,” you say, “the more you say, the more of me you get to have.”

    1820877 jasmine byrne makes prison seem not so bad 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Source: 25.media.tumblr.com via sk1 on Sex.com

    CONEY ISLAND HOT DOG EATING CONTEST ROLE PLAY SCENARIO:

    It’s the 4th of July and you’re at Coney Island to watch the annual hot dog eating contest, just like you do every year.

    This year, you notice something different about one of the contestants. Instead of the usual fat slobs and efficient Japanese eaters participating in the contest, there is a sultry brunette who just might be the sexiest creature you’ve ever seen. Can you believe that you almost considered not coming to watch the hot dog eating contest this year?

    As the contest is about to begins, the sultry brunette seems outmatched by her competitors. But when the clock starts, she swallows whole hotdog after whole hotdog, blowing her competition out of the water. With no noticeable physical discomfort, the sultry brunette wins the hotdog eating competition by a landslide.

    After accepting her medal, she heads straight for Stillwell Avenue station. Amazed by her performance in the competition, you chase after her because you’re compelled to let her know how incredible that was.

    “Excuse me!” you shout while trying to catch up to her.

    She turns and shoots you a smile.

    “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you but I come to watch this hotdog eating competition every year and I got to say that was the most impressive things I’ve ever seen at any hotdog eating competition.”

    She blushes, “Oh it’s nothing special.”

    “No, it is special. Where did you learn how to do that?”

    “From deepthroating big cocks.”

    Silence. You’re in complete shock because why would you ever expect a complete stranger to say that to you?

    “Would like to come over to my place so I can show you?”

    Immediately, you start to laugh. Obviously this is some sort of sick prank, right? But then she grabs your hand and leads you to the subway. “C’mon. If you thought that was impressive than wait until you see how I deepthroat. It’s literally going to blow you…away.”

    So you ride the subway to her house, she deepthroats your cock for several hours and you have amazing sex.

    1809412 fabulous brunette in incredible deepthroat vagina animation 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Source: 24.media.tumblr.com via Vaginal Tap on Sex.com

    THE VHA IS A-O-K ROLE PLAY SCENARIO:

    You’ve just returned home from your second tour of duty and you don’t feel quite like yourself. You’re not exactly what’s wrong so you head to your local Veteran Health Administration to see if you can get some care.

    When you arrive, the place is packed with your fellow servicemen all waiting for care. You walk up to the front desk and are greeted by a young, perky nurse.

    “I’d like to see a doctor,” you say in that grizzled voice you’ve had ever since seeing combat.

    “I’m sorry sir but there’s 120 000 person waiting list to see a doctor.”

    “What? I risked my life serving this country. I let my marriage fall apart for this country. And on the 4th of July…some American dream, huh? Well miss, thank you for your time.”

    You turn to walk away, but then you hear, “Wait!” It’s the perky receptionist signalling back. She has an expression on her face that implies she has a secret to tell you. Intrigued, you lean in and she whispers into your ear, “There’s a 120 000 person wait list for a doctor, but this nurse will see you right now. Supply closet. 10 minutes. Fifth door on your left.”

    As instructed, you enter the fifth door on your left and 8 1/2 minutes later, the perky nurse from reception enters.

    4130701 bryci nurse pussy 4th of July Role Play Scenarios

    Source: galleries5.ptclassic.com via Blasfms on Sex.com

     

    Well guys, that’s it for your 4th of July role play scenarios.

    I had another one where you play Thomas Jefferson coming home after celebrating the signing of Declaration of Independence and when you get home, you smoke so much hemp and get super high that you mistakes the slave quarters for your own bedroom and one of your slaves for Martha Jefferson and having incredible sex and thus introducing Thomas Jefferson to the wonderful world of interracial sex…but I thought that maybe that one would be in poor taste. After all, isn’t 4th of July about ignoring all the bad things America has done to its people and the rest of the world?

    Happy 4th of July everyone!

    July 3, 2014 • Sex, Sex & Dating Tips • Views: 10962

  • Deana Sophia Vera Is A Super Hot Patriot

    Independence Day is only a week away, and that’s why I say we start celebrating the best damn nation in world right now!

    That’s why today I’d like to thank our exalted leader Kim Jong Un for denouncing philistines James Franco and Seth Rogen. May our benevolent leader take our great nation of North Korea to the great Communist promised land.

    That’s why today I’d like to call your attention to one of America’s greatest patriots: DEANA SOPHIA VERA.

    Who?

    Like all great American patriots, Deana Sophia Vera is a very sexy model from Kazakhstan.

    She immigrated to America when she was only eight and grew up in Eastern Pennsylvania. You can’t get more American than that. Also, you can’t get more Kazakhstan in America than Eastern Pennsylvania.

    Deana won Miss Teen Pennsylvania USA as a junior in high school. Though she’s attending college, she makes time for a professional modelling career, doing shoot for Maxim and Puma. And she’s also an actress having appeared on some MTV garbage and the CBS Drama Person of Interest.

    Moving from Kazakhstan to Eastern Pennsylvania only to become a semi-well known, incredibly sexy model/actress is the American Dream. That’s why we’re celebrating Deana Sophia Vera as a true American patriot.

    On top of embodying the American Dream, Deana Sophia Vera has the unique distinction of looking their absolute sexiest while wearing an American flag themed bathing suit. In case you don’t believe, check out Deana Sophia Vera showing her true colors below:

    6609210 deana sophia vera Deana Sophia Vera Is A Super Hot Patriot

    Source: rsvlts.com via youngchop on Sex.com

    6609214 deana sophia vera Deana Sophia Vera Is A Super Hot Patriot

    Source: rsvlts.com via youngchop on Sex.com

    6609217 deana sophia vera Deana Sophia Vera Is A Super Hot Patriot

    Source: rsvlts.com via youngchop on Sex.com

    6609220 deana sophia vera Deana Sophia Vera Is A Super Hot Patriot

    Source: rsvlts.com via youngchop on Sex.com

    O beautiful for spacious skies, 
    For amber waves of grain, 
    For purple mountain majesties 
    Above the fruited plain! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    And crown thy good with brotherhood 
    From sea to shining sea! 

    O beautiful for pilgrim feet 
    Whose stern impassioned stress
    A thoroughfare of freedom beat 
    Across the wilderness! 
    Deana Sophia VeraDeana Sophia Vera! 
    God mend thine every flaw, 
    Confirm thy soul in self-control, 
    Thy liberty in law! 

    O beautiful for heroes proved 
    In liberating strife. 
    Who more than self their country loved
    And mercy more than life! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    May God thy gold refine 
    Till all success be nobleness 
    And every gain divine! 

    O beautiful for patriot dream 
    That sees beyond the years 
    Thine alabaster cities gleam 
    Undimmed by human tears! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    And crown thy good with brotherhood 
    From sea to shining sea! 

    O beautiful for halcyon skies, 
    For amber waves of grain, 
    For purple mountain majesties 
    Above the enameled plain! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    Till souls wax fair as earth and air 
    And music-hearted sea! 

    O beautiful for pilgrims feet, 
    Whose stem impassioned stress 
    A thoroughfare for freedom beat 
    Across the wilderness! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    Till paths be wrought through 
    wilds of thought 
    By pilgrim foot and knee! 

    O beautiful for glory-tale 
    Of liberating strife 
    When once and twice, 
    for man’s avail 
    Men lavished precious life! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    Till selfish gain no longer stain 
    The banner of the free! 

    O beautiful for patriot dream 
    That sees beyond the years 
    Thine alabaster cities gleam 
    Undimmed by human tears! 
    Deana Sophia Vera! Deana Sophia Vera! 
    God shed his grace on thee 
    Till nobler men keep once again 
    Thy whiter jubilee! 

    Yes, Deana Sophia Vera truly is a great American patriot. Can’t wait for July 4th, y’all!

    June 27, 2014 • Pictures & Vids, Porn • Views: 24519

  • Want a Free Subscription to Hustler? Run For Congress

    Being elected to the United States Congress seems like an absolute nightmare. As far as I can tell, Congress is just a collection of America’s slimiest, most ignorant, sycophantic, and petty people tasked with making the nation’s laws. Jon Stewart said it best when he asked, “If “con” is the opposite of pro, then isn’t Congress the opposite of progress?”

    Indeed it is, Jon, since nothing ever gets done.

    But being a Congressman would have its fair share of perks. Tax deductions, health and life insurance, member’s representational allowance, government pension, free subscription to Hustler Magazine.

    Wait what? Congressmen get a free subscription to Hustler Magazine?

    Yes it’s true! Since 1983, Larry Flynt has sent a copy of his dirty magazine, packed with dozens porn pictures, adult comics, satirical articles, and more in a manila envelope to each and every member of Congress.

    After 31 years of receiving free Hustler magazines in the mail, you’d think someone would have tried to put a stop to it. Following complaints from 264 congressional offices in 1984, the U.S. Postal Service  asked the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia to block the mailings. But that request failed when the court ruled two years later that the delivery of the magazine could not be stopped. The court said:

    “Receiving Hustler once each month would not unduly burden a Member of Congress. Members are not forced to read the magazine or other of the mail they receive in volume. We cannot imagine that Congressional offices all lack wastebaskets.”

    For Larry Flynt, it was a First Amendment issue. It was his right, as an American, to petition the government by sending them free copies of Hustler every month, and the court agreed. Thirty years later, the congressional subscription count remains the same: 535 (which for those of you who aren’t American, 535 is the entirety of the US Congress. 435 Congressmen and 100 Senators). Sadly, the magazine is not sent to members of the executive branch.

    Staffers say that receiving Hustlers in the mail has just become a part of the rountine and that it’s just a way for them to have some fun (not by reading it though). Most of the time, the magazines end up in the trash. Yet another example of government waste. Not only are they wasting our money, they’re also wasting perfectly good porn magazines. As if I needed another reason to hate the government.

    To see what awesome porn pictures the government’s been wasting for the last 31 years, please check out Hustler’s Official Sex.com Board.

     

     

    [h/t: National Journal]

     

    April 17, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 17980

  • The States Where Blowjobs Are Illegal But Necrophelia Is Not

    Yesterday, the Louisiana State House rejected an appeal of the state’s unconstitutional anti-sodomy law. According to the New York Times, the appeal lost 66 to 27. That means Louisianans are breaking the law every time they have anal sex or give/receive oral sex.

    Why would Louisiana subject itself to a pitiful existence where no one can legally give/receive a blowjob or experiment with anal sex? Because enjoying any kind of sex is immoral, especially fancy kinds of sex like oral sex and anal sex. If it’s not unpleasurable, missionary sex, then you better not be having it in Louisiana.

    Though if you want to have sex with a corpse, you can do that in Louisiana because necrophelia is legal!

    Yes, in Louisiana, if you want to dig up a corpse and literally fuck its brains out, you can. But if you want to give your husband a blowjob, that’s technically a felony.

    But that’s not the weirdest part. The weirdest part is that Louisiana isn’t the only state in the union that explicitly bans blowjobs and anal sex but allows necrophelia.

    North Carolina also has a ban on oral and anal sex, but you’re totally free to do a dead person.

    Oklahoma and Kansas don’t care if you want to do the deed with the recently deceased, but there’s a ban on oral intercourse between lesbian and gay couples.

    And for the record, several other states like Nebraska, New Mexico, and Vermont appear to allow necrophelia, but at least there’s no ban on oral or anal sex.

    I truly can’t imagine how these bans on blowjobs would ever be enforced, but it’s crazy to me that some states are holding on to their anti-sodomy laws. I mean, who cares what two or more consenting adults are doing to each other? No one should.

    So just a reminder, never move to these states in red because their priorities are all screwed up:

    skor1rtp67otl30irgjh The States Where Blowjobs Are Illegal But Necrophelia Is Not

    If you live in one of these states, I’m sorry.

    My advice to you is to give/receive as many blowjobs as possible as a form of protest against these unjust laws.

    [h/t: Gawker]

    April 16, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 12015

  • Which States Have The Longest (and Shortest) Sex

    Call me a pessimist, but life nowadays is all about collecting data about yourself so companies can make infographics they can share to promote themselves and make everyone on the internet say, “Oh that’s cool,” before moving on to a different infographic. And yes, that includes your sex life.

    Spreadsheets is an app that uses your phone’s accelerometer and speakers to provide statistical feedback about your sex life by measuring duration, thrusts, and decibel peak. Personally, I don’t think measuring duration, thruts, and decibel peaks is indicative of the quality of sex, it’s just fun to know what your phone thinks.

    Spreadsheets has proven itself useful not by measuring your own sexual performance, but in collecting the average duration of sex in all 50 States (and 1 District). So let’s see which states are having the longest sex.   Continue Reading

    February 19, 2014 • Infographics/Stories, Sex News • Views: 2143

  • Government is dumb, wastes millions on penis pumps

    Pumpo Government is dumb, wastes millions on penis pumps

    American senators all swear by this penis pump (probably)

    We all know penis pumps are hilarious.

    You’ve seen the movie Austin Powers, right?  See, even the world’s most mysterious and sexually desirable secret agent sometimes needs to enlist the help of a pump to get his ‘mojo’ ‘popping off’ or whatever.  Here’s the problem though, ever since I saw Austin Powers and declared it my favourite/the most cinematically important film of all time, I’ve always wanted to buy a penis pump as some kind of hilarious gag gift.

    Apparently, however, the American government finds Austin Powers REALLY hilarious, and I mean like, waste hundreds of millions of dollars on penis pumps hilarious.  According to Reuters, penis pumps cost the American government $172 million between 2006-2011 – yeah, so about all that unemployment and failing healthcare…

    So yeah, that’s a lot of money.  Apparently, American Medicare, the government health insurance for seniors, has paid close to 500,000 claims for vacuum erection systems.  So that’s 500,000 old men with raging boners that you now have to think about.  Enjoy!

    Continue Reading

    January 21, 2014 • Sex News • Views: 482

  • Which State Has The Biggest Penises?

    Scientists Reveal Average Penis Size In Recent Study Which State Has The Biggest Penises?

    Typical North Dakotan showing off

    Condomania.com, the USA’s original online condom store (apparently), has just released a state by state comparison of penis sizes by compiling their sales data.

    So which state in the USA has the biggest penises?

    Here is the list of all 50 states from biggest penises to smallest:  Continue Reading

    December 4, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 532

  • Sexy Ways to Celebrate July 4th

    1029096 american ass Sexy Ways to Celebrate July 4th

    Alexis Texas gets patriotic

    You there! Do you know what tomorrow is? Tomorrow is the 4th of July, which means you should be ready to celebrate the independence of the Philippines with Republic Day.

    But seriously, July 4th is Independence Day here in America and it’s a pretty big deal. Obviously on July 4th we celebrate America’s independence from the dreaded British, but really it’s a chance for all of us to kick back, drink some beer, and blow some shit up.

    I’ve got my July 4th all planned out. I’m going to swing by the Sex.com sex dungeon that we call an office and look at porn all day then eventually go home and go to sleep.

    Sounds pretty good, right?

    If you haven’t figured out what you’re doing then you’ve come to the right blog because we’re here with the Top 10 Sexy Ways to Celebrate July 4th. Let’s see how we can make July 4th sexy:  Continue Reading

    July 3, 2013 • TOP 10's • Views: 4381

  • Your All-American Girl: Kate Upton

    In anticipation for July 4th, we asked our users which American girl was not only the sexiest but also best represented what it was like to be an American.

    A few thousands votes later, we have found our All-American Girl:

    756899 kate upton wet t shirt Your All American Girl: Kate Upton

    Kate Upton

    That’s right! Your All-American Girl is none other than Michigan’s Kate Upton!

    Kate Upton held the majority of 37% in the poll and had 500 more votes than runner-up Jennifer Lawrence (who had 24% of the votes).

    Though I was really hoping Beyonce would be crowned All-American Girl by Sex.com users, the truth is I knew it would be Kate Upton all along.

    Ever since her Terry Richardson photo shoot, it seems like there’s no stopping Kate Upton. She’s everywhere and everyone wants a piece of her.

    Hell, last year Victoria Secret said that they would never use Kate Upton because, “She’s like a footballer’s wife, with the too-blond hair and that kind of face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy.” That’s such a cruel thing to say. Too-blond? Face that anyone with enough money can go out and buy? I guarantee you that if you were to try and buy yourself a Kate Upton face it would not even come close to looking as good as the original.

    Despite the harsh words, this year Kate Upton was on the Victoria’s Secret catalogue’s back cover. It turns out that Victoria’s Secret recycled the photos from 2011 (when they last booked Kate Upton) because her popularity is through the roof and they would be stupid not to include her. But I don’t have to tell you why she’s popular. She’s a gorgeous, curvy supermodel that likes to do goofy dances in a bikini. I want to tell you why Kate Upton is the perfect All-American Girl…  Continue Reading

    July 2, 2013 • BABES • Views: 3554

  • Wal-Mart is the Missed Conntection Capital of America

    1322876800561 ORIGINAL Wal Mart is the Missed Conntection Capital of America

    Wal-Mart!

    Where is the best place to fall in love at first sight?

    The dance club? The discotheque? The sexy beach?

    According to a Craigslist “Missed Connections” survey by Dorothy Grambell and Psychology Today, Wal-Mart is the most popular place for people to find love from just a glance.

    Continue Reading

    February 26, 2013 • Sex News • Views: 441