• Dumb Sex Excuse Spreadsheet Goes Viral

    This past week, a Reddit user, frustrated with a lull in the sexual relationship with his wife, decided to be a huge asshole and make an excel spreadsheet keeping track of her refusals over the span of a month.  Here’s the spreadsheet he put together:

    Screen Shot 2014-07-23 at 10.17.57 AM

    The reason he’s an asshole are as follows:

    a) In the most snarky and bitter way possible, he decided to keep track of his wife’s refusals.  Keeping track is not necessarily the problem, if you’re going to use the accumulated data in some sort of productive way or to have a conversation with your partner about your lack of intimacy.  Trying to be a comedian with your little ‘witty’ comments is an entirely other thing, and leads into:

    b) He decided to post his little masterpiece on Reddit in an attempt to segue his struggling sex life into some sort of fleeting internet fame.  People are mad thirsty for upvotes, I know, but dude, have a little heart.

    c) While he was maintaining his spreadsheet, he was still making sexual advances on his wife.  That means that, when he suggested sex, at the back of his mind, he was probably already formulating the phrases he would be putting into the ‘Excuses” column.  That means that his attempts at intimacy weren’t genuine, and it means that he was continually leading his wife into a trap, with the ultimate goal of shaming and embarrassing her on the internet.

    d) “According to her accompanying post on Reddit, the woman’s attempts to call him were ignored. Another masterstroke: refuse all olive branches even though she will be desperate to have sex with you now.”

    Here’s an idea, rather than hatching a hurtful plan in an attempt to shame your wife into having sex with you, why not open a dialogue with her and attempt to figure out why your sex life has tapered off, and how you can work together to fix the issue?

    Here’s another newsflash: your wife isn’t OBLIGATED to have sex with you, and no woman is.  Take your male privilege and shove it, dude.

    Good luck ever convincing your wife that you genuinely want to engage in sexual relations with her again, you dummy.  She’s always going to suspect you of being underhanded, and for really good reason.

    Think about it dude, you could be having sex like this, and instead you fucked it all up:

    July 23, 2014 • Sex, Sex News • Views: 13811