We’ve always been taught that sex can be dangerous but now it seems some forms of foreplay can be lethal. Today we learn about the dangers of motorboating.
It may come as a shock that motorboating is dangerous. Out on the open water, cruising at breakneck speeds, not a care in the world…Oh wait…Not that kind of motorboating…
Squeezing your face between two ample breasts, rocking one’s head from side to side at breakneck speeds, not a care in the world as your lips go “WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR“. But don’t be fooled, even this kind of motorboating can be dangerous.
For evidence of this, let’s look at the case in Germany where a lawyer, Tim Schmidt, has charged his ex-girlfriend, Franziska Hansen for attempted murder with a weapon. The weapon in question? You guessed it, Hansen’s 38DD bust.
Schmidt claims that, “The incident happened in May – we were having sex…She was sitting on me naked and I was kissing her breasts. Suddenly she grabbed my head and pushed between her breasts with all of her force…I couldn’t breathe any more, I must have turned blue. I couldn’t tear myself free and I thought I was going to die.”
In Franziska defense, she only shoved her big-time mammer-jammers into her ex-lover’ss face as a part of a little “sex game” (aka, MOTORBOATING).
We don’t get down with non-consensual sex but we also don’t get down with someone accusing some 38DD’s of attempted murder. Who do you believe, the lawyer that almost suffocated or the lady that just wanted to fool around?
Let this be a lesson to all of you that even something as fun and awesome as motorboating can be dangerous. Lesson is talk to your partner. If they won’t motorboat you, you can always find someone else that will.