Is there any sex better than quickie sex?
I don’t think so. The spontaneity of quickie sex always guarantees that it will be very hot. Plus the brevity let’s you continue your day as if nothing ever happened (though you’ll always know that you just had sex).
Quickie sex cannot be planned, it just sort of happens. When you feel it about to happen and you’re nowhere near your bedroom, these are the Top 10 places to have quickie sex:
10. Bathrooms :
Sure, bathroom quickies might be a cliché but it wouldn’t have become a cliché if it wasn’t so damn good.
Bathrooms are always a good place to have quickie sex because bathrooms are literally everywhere and you can easily ensure your privacy by the locking the door behind you.
Plus, a bathroom can you a lot of different options for your quickie. You can prop your partner up against the stall door, bend them over the sink, watch yourself have sex in the mirror. You can do all this and more!
9. The Office :
There’s a reason why you work 40 hours a week at a job you hate. It’s to get eventually get your own office with blinds and a door that locks.
Wait for everyone to go out for lunch or go home, then call your partner into your office for a quickie! I’m a big fan of frantically pushing all your stuff off the desk to turn your workspace into a space for boning. But if you just want to sit back and get some head in your nice leather chair (like the photo above), then that’s good too.
If you or your partner don’t have your own office within the office, then the office might not be the best place to have quickie sex. Having sex, no matter how brief, in front of your coworkers will almost definitely get you and your partner fired. Don’t worry though! There’s a reason why offices have copy-rooms and supply closets…and it’s not for making copies or storing supplies (it’s for quickie sex!).
8. Dressing Rooms :
Sex in a dressing room is great, however it requires some preparation and planning.
For an in-depth guide on how to have sex in a dressing read: How To Have Sex In A Dressing Room.
I don’t like to repeat myself.
That’s why instead of repeating myself, I’m just going to have you read How To Have Sex In A Car.
Don’t say that having sex in a car and having sex in a taxi is the same thing.
They’re very different. When you’re having sex in a taxi, you don’t have to worry about driving the car. You get to just sit in the back and have fun while you’re chauffeured around town.
“Won’t the cabbie mind if two people are having sex in the back of his cab?” You’re probably asking your computer screen.
In my experience, if you promise not to make any stains on the upholstery, they’ll just enjoy the free show (which does add a level of sexual excitement).
However, if the driver pulls over and takes off his shirt, hoping to join in the fun, it’s time to leave. Don’t leave a tip if he tries this move.
Why would elevators have the emergency stop button if it wasn’t for people to have sex in them?
Quickie sex in a elevator can be cramped but it’s lots of fun.
If you’re feeling really adventurous, don’t push the emergency stop button.
Alleys have a bad reputation because they usually attract degenerates.
Why not spruce up your local alley by having some consensual quickie sex when no one’s looking?
Just watch out for cops. They might mistake you and your partner’s quickie sex for some kind of sexual violence. And then you’d be in big trouble.
3. Movie theatres
When you look at the movies coming out nowadays, I bet you’re like, “Who would pay to see $18.50 to see that garbage?”
I’ll let you in a on a little secret…No one is going to see the movies, they’re paying $18.50 to have quickie sex in the empty theatre.
When you were a teenager you used to make-out and get handjobs in the theatre, why should that stop now that you’re fully sexually active? It shouldn’t.
Movie theatres are perfect for quickie sex because the lights are low, no one’s around, the explosions on screen will drown out all the loud sex moaning.
I guarantee having sex in the movie theatre will be better than any movie that’s out right now. If not, I will personally refund your ticket.
2. Not your bedroom
Having quickie sex in someone else’s bedroom isn’t the most considerate thing to do, but who cares, right?
Next time you’re at a boring dinner party or your roommate Daniel has gone out for a pack of cigarettes, get a quick and easy change of scenery by doing it in someone else’s bedroom.
1. The Great Outdoors!
You could be in a public park, swimming in the ocean, hiking up a mountain, it doesn’t matter!
Sex is a natural thing, so why not do it quickly in nature?
Once the coast is clear, strip down and feel the earth.
Pro tip: watch out for wildlife. One time I was having sex under a bridge and I was attacked by a family of raccoons. Needless to say, it was the best sex I ever had.
Bonus Quickie Sex Location: Public Library
It’s a well-known fact that the only people at the public library are there to jerk off at the computers.
The staff will no doubt have their hands full with the guys jerking off at the computers so all you have to do is get lost in the stacks and have quickie sex.
Good luck everyone! Let me know how your quickie sex works out.