I know I should be talking about sex or porn but the Mega Millions jackpot is on my mind this morning because money is the only thing I love more than sex or porn.
Two lucky bastards will be splitting the $636 million jackpot while at least 20 other lucky bastards have won 1 million dollars.
Guys, I’m very sorry to announce that I did not hit the jackpot. I didn’t even buy a Mega Millions ticked. But at least for this morning, I’d like to pretend I did by showing you The Top 10 Things To Do With A Mega Millions Jackpot.
10. Buy a house
9. Buy a sportscar
8. Take a tropical vacation
7. Lose it all in a high stakes game of strip poker
5. Clone Lexi Belle
4. Go surfing with Brooklyn Decker
3. Get a lifetime supply of pizza and beer
2. Finance my bio-pic, which would look like this: