I know we’re still 11 days away from Super Bowl XLVIII (aka Super Bowl 48) but I’m ready to make my prediction…
THE SEATTLE SEAHAWKS ARE GOING TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL.
Those poor Broncos don’t stand a chance on February 2nd. And it’s not just because the Seahawks’s defense is impenetrable…
It’s because the Seahawks have Tori Black on their side!
A long, long time ago, I remember reading a study where researchers recorded the consistency of skateboarders doing sick tricks bro.
At first, the skaters were all just cruising around and not really applying themselves in typical skateboarder fashion. That’s when the research team brought in a bunch of chicks to watch them skate. Not only did the skaters try harder tricks, they were also more consistent.
Unfortunately I can’t find a link to the study to prove that it was in fact a real study and not something I just dreamt (which is quite likely), but the point is that men perform better in the presence of women.
Whether they’re conscious of it or not, men push themselves harder in sports when women are watching because they want to impress and hopefully have sex with these women after the match.
So if the Seahawks know that Tori Black, the hottest woman alive, is watching and rooting for their team, they are guaranteed to perform better than any Denver Bronco including Peyton “What the fuck does Omaha mean?” Manning.
So go ahead and start placing your bets because if this skateboarder study from years ago is real, Tori Black has guaranteed a Seahawk Super Bowl!
For anyone that’s not already totally convinced, just look at these Tori Black pictures (sexy Tori Black selfies to be more specific) and accept the fact that she is the key to a Seahawk victory.
Maybe if you had fans that were as sexy as Tori Black you’d be in the running. But you don’t, so don’t even bother printing those “Denver Broncos Super Bowl XLVIII Champs“ hats.