Valentine’s Day Gift Guide (part 3) – Fake Girlfriends

It is now officially Valentine’s Day shopping crunch time.

Football has ended.

Part 1 and Part 2 of’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide have been online for almost a week.

You have no more excuses. You have all the tools to make Valentine’s Day great.

I’m sure a lot of you are single and couldn’t care less about celebrating Valentine’s Day or shopping for Valentine’s Day because the holiday is a reminder that you will be alone forever.

Well, in Part 3 of’s Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, we’ve found the perfect gift for all the singles in the world…

Making up a Canadian girlfriend* is much easier than actually going to Canada and getting a girlfriend (or alternatively getting a girlfriend and asking her to move to Canada). But the mysterious, Canadian girlfriend is such a familiar lie that people will often suspect that she is made up. Suspicion can make the lie difficult to maintain.

But now thanks to the internet, you can buy a fake internet girlfriend to make your lie as real as possible.

Sites like and will set you up with a real live girl who will pretend to be your long distance girlfriend. She’ll post on your Facebook, tweet at you, even leave you voice-mails that will make people think twice before accusing you of having a fake girlfriend.

Of course, the price varies on the kind of package you need. offers basic texting back and forth service but they also offer a premium “gamer girl package” where your fake internet girlfriend will join your online gaming community and play with you and your friends. It all depends on how far you want to go with the lie. has a minimum of a $250 monthly subscription whereas will only cost you $5 a day.

Remember that your fake internet girlfriend is NOT a provider. And if you don’t know what that means, you should read this: “The Hooker Experience: hobbyists & providers“. Also, if you’re a Heisman trophy candidate, this probably isn’t for you.

However, if you’re a single man looking to find love in the near future, treat yourself to a fake internet girlfriend this Valentine’s Day. It’s only natural to be hesitant before committing to a hoax of this scale but the sites are 100% confidential and discreet.

And if you’re still not convinced, maybe you should look at this chart before you write off fake internet girlfriends completely:


via I Love Charts

Women are more drawn to men in a relationship because they have been screened by another woman, whereas a single man is an unknown and potentially dangerous quantity.

This was proved in a study from Oklahoma State University in Stillwater, where students were shown a photograph of their ideal mate. Half of the participants were told that their mate in the photograph was in a relationship and the other half were told they were single. Only 59% of the single women participating were interested in pursuing a relationship with their ideal mate was single. Meanwhile, when they were in a relationship, 90% of women said that they were interested in pursuing relationship.

Getting a fake internet girlfriend is deceptive, no one is arguing that. But guys, if you’re tired of being single and you’ve tried everything else, it might be worth trying this fake internet girlfriend scheme this Valentine’s Day. It may just make you more attractive to women.

At least a fake internet girlfriend won’t be checking your history and get jealous of all the hot sex pictures you’ve been browsing on


*Interestingly enough, single Canadians looking to save face will say they have an American girlfriend rather than a Canadian one
Special thanks to Tracy Clark-Flory of for inspiring this installment of the Gift Guide with her article, “How to buy a fake girlfriend
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