Loyal blog pawns know that the only thing I like more than sex and porn is professional basketball.
That’s why I’m devastated to hear Chicago Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau confirm that Derrick Rose has had surgery to repair the torn medial meniscus in his right knee that will sideline him for the rest of the season. This is Rose’s second major knee surgery in 19 months.
For those of you that don’t follow the NBA, Derrick Rose is one of the best players in the league and the NBA just isn’t as exciting without him. The most worrisome part of Rose’s injury is that knee injuries can end careers. Just look at Amar’e Stoudemire and Vince Carter. Though they’re still playing post-knee injuries, they’re nowhere near the explosive players they used to be.
Last time Rose played a full season in 2010-11, he was named the NBA’s MVP. He was 22 at the time. Now at 25, Derrick Rose is approaching his prime but he may never be same.
So while basketball fans everywhere mourn the loss of one the game’s best players (maybe forever, but hopefully just for another year), I’ve come up with the Top 10 Ways to Get Over Derrick Rose’s Injury.
Spoiler Alert: Make Carlos Boozer your new favorite player isn’t one of them.
10. Get a bunch of tattoos
9. Learn a new language
8. Hit the tanning salons
7. Take a long, hot shower
6. Post nude pictures of yourself on Sex.com
5. Start swimming because it’s good exercise
4. Plan a wedding
3. Become one with nature
2. Forget about basketball