When and Where To Masturbate

im busy masturbating do not disturb When and Where To Masturbate

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Is there anything more humiliating than getting caught masturbating?

I’ve been caught masturbating a total of three times in my life and all three would be in the Top 10 most embarrassing moments of my life (3, 7, and 8 to be more specific).

We ran a poll this week to find out how many times the average masturbator has been caught in their masturbation career.

The majority of you have been pretty good at not getting caught. Of the 1,940 people that voted in our masturbation poll, 55% (1,067 people) have only been caught masturbating 1 to 3 times in their masturbation career.

Most people masturbate between 3 and 5 times a week. That means most people masturbate anywhere from 156 to 260 times in a year. Considering how much masturbating the average person does in a year, it’s amazing that the majority of masturbators only been caught 1 to 3 times.

What startled me about the poll is that 25% of masturbators (489) have been caught 10 or more times. That’s more votes than the other two options (4 to 6 and 7 to 9) combined.

Getting caught masturbating 10 or more times is far too often, especially when you see how rare it is for masturbators to be caught.

So to help those 489 people that are constantly getting caught masturbating, I’m going to review when and where you should masturbate so that you don’t have to deal with the humiliation of getting caught masturbating.

When Should You Masturbate? 

You should masturbate only when you’re privacy is assured.

I know some people’s approach to masturbation is a lot like this:

“Uh oh! I have an erection. Well, I only know of one way to get rid of those!”

You simply cannot masturbate every time you get an erection or feel aroused. You have to wait until you know you are alone.

If you live alone, you may not have to worry about the “when” as much as someone living with other people.

If you do live with other people, it’s never a bad idea to wait until everyone’s asleep before masturbating. It might be tempting to spend the afternoon and evening masturbating, but these are high traffic times at home. People could walk in to your room or your bathroom at literally any time.

Waiting until everyone’s asleep assures privacy while masturbating. Alternatively, you could try waking up before anyone else and masturbating then.

If you really can’t wait until later that night or early in the morning, wait until your roommate or your mom has to leave the house on a hot date with me. Casually ask them when they think they’ll be back. If they say over an hour, you’re in business.

Always give the person who’s coming back a 10 minute grace period in case they’ve forgotten something. If there is no sign of them. Get to it.

Now I don’t recommend masturbating at work or in any public space because you could become a registered sex offender. But again, if you absolutely have to masturbate, wait until you are alone.

The key to not getting caught while playing with yourself is privacy. If you’re not alone, make sure that the people you are with are unconscious (asleep, not because you bashed them with a lead pipe).

Where Should You Masturbate?

The simple answer here is anywhere with covered windows and a door that locks.

Locking the door ensures your privacy, which is the key to not getting caught. Sounds simple, right? That’s because it is.

If you’re going to masturbate in the middle of the afternoon, lock your front door. You never know who might pop in to say, “Hello!” and find you with your pants around your ankles pinning pictures and videos to Sex.com. Even if they have a key, a locked door will delay them long enough to allow you to act casual. Like you weren’t masturbating at all.

Make sure wherever you choose to masturbate has curtains or blinds. The last thing you want is your neighbor to spot you masturbating. And you know what, they don’t want to see it either!

 

Ultimately, what you need to remember is that masturbation, while fun and awesome, is very embarrassing if you get caught doing it. Try not to masturbate whenever or wherever you feel like. There could be serious repercussions.

Always make sure you’re alone in a locked room with the blinds drawn.

Follow these simple rules and you can enjoy masturbation without ever worrying about getting caught.

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Published on: August 29, 2013

Filled Under: Sex & Dating Tips

Views: 789

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