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Women Do Not Want to See Your Dick (A Friendly Reminder to Guys)

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No dicks!

Calico Rudasil is a feature columnist for Sssh.com, the web’s original erotic site for women by women. With over 16 years’ experience of writing about and for the adult entertainment industry under her belt, Calico qualifies as something of a Web Porn Dinosaur; similar to a tyrannosaurus, only with far more attractive arms and a less pronounced overbite.

Today Calico Rudasil is here with a friendly reminder to guys that women don’t want to see your dick.

Look, I like dick as much as the next girl, when presented in its proper context – that context being attached to a man with whom I’m about to have sex (or at least fool around with a bit). Where I generally do NOT like dick is out of context, like on my smartphone, sitting like a flesh-colored turd in my email inbox, or otherwise divorced from situations that have at least the potential to go coital.

I can’t speak for all women, naturally, but I think I speak for most when I say this sexting thing has gotten out of hand (your hand being, by the way, a much better place to put your penis when you simply cannot keep it in your pants then is your iPhone, fellas). 

In a world where men have never needed much encouragement in order to whip it out, camera-equipped mobile devices appear to have overwhelmed any sense of restraint, however minimal it might have been, that guys once had about releasing their trouser snakes into the wild. For years, men have climbed Mt. Everest “because it is there,” and now they are using smartphones to capture images of their One-Eyed Pete’s based on the same rationale.

While the cock shots that make the news are usually those featuring famous phalli, like Brett Favre’s little linebacker or Anthony’s World-Wide-Wiener, plain old Joe Publics haven’t been shy about broadcasting their boners, either. The cavalcade of cyber-cock has become so voluminous, in fact, that even my 80 year-old mother-in-law has received turgid tools by text! Granted, it was the result of a frat guy fat-fingering his girlfriend’s phone number during a drunken, late night sexting session, but the fact that it was a mistake was cold comfort to a reserved and conservative senior who has just been unwillingly exposed to unexpected photo-prick.

I’ll concede that there probably are some women out there – a few twisted, loony ladies – who actually enjoy looking at penis pictures. Even those women don’t really need such images thrust into their lives via text message, though; it’s the Internet Age, after all, and if a woman honestly wants to see images of male genitalia, there are millions to choose from online, available 24/7, in high definition, with no need to engage the owners of said genitalia in any manner of conversation as part of the bargain.

There are also circumstances in which display of the penis can be truly artistic, of course, and I’m not just referring to stone packages attached to aging Greek sculptures; there’s artistic modern penile presentation, too – and none better than Puppetry of the Penis, a movement that originated in Australia, I believe, where one can perhaps forgive the locals for having nothing better to do than twist their sexual organs into the shape of food.

Most men who tweet, text, post or otherwise publish images of their pocket rockets, however, have no such artistry in mind. Somehow, these poor, misguided souls have come to the painfully wrong conclusion that women desire to see disembodied tallywhackers in all their throbbing glory.

Since I know it’s too much to ask that men simply stop beaming out self-shot images of their beef batons, I’ll just propose a measure of courtesy instead: How about if you’re thinking of sending me a picture of your pickle, you ask me first whether I’d like to give it a look?

Such a compromise is probably a ‘vein hope,’ but a girl can dream, right?

Thank you Calico Rudasil and everyone at Sssh.com!

If you missed Calico’s guest blog from last week, check it out right now:

Is Sexual Objectification OK?

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I have to wear my glasses when I go to the theater. If you want to reach me directly, email me at chicodustyblog@gmail.com, add me to your circles on Google+ or Tweet at me on Twitter.

Comments

  • Pingback: Women Do Not Want to See Your Dick (A Friendly Reminder to Guys) - tourstravel

  • Sarah

    speak for yourself hun.

    boys, i WANT to see your dicks.
    i love big dicks, i love skinny dicks, i love small dicks, i just love dick.

    and i love it when boys try to show me their dicks.

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  • InOutRepeat

    I guess I can’t agree or disagree with this one. Men have always known that women gravitate more to the romance side of sex rather than the visual, so I guess this isn’t really a shock, nor is it much of a debate.

    That said, I’m not sure how it is that you think men “have never needed much encouragement in order to whip it out…” This is a world where women are encouraged to flaunt their nudity, and they do so at the drop of a hat, but when men do it, we’re called lewd and lascivious, fined, imprisoned, or labeled a sex criminal. Venues like sex.com or porn in general notwithstanding, man have always needed TONS of encouragement to whip it out. The stakes are just too high. And that bit about cell phones, yeah, that can be construed as sexual harassment and precipitate a sex crime sentence, too. So no, guys aren’t wagging their dicks all over town as you seem to suggest.

    Women on the other hand, and please feel free to browse sex.com for a few bazillion examples, ARE flashing everything they’ve got in every conceivable place they can find. Yeah, I get it, most are getting paid, but even the amateur selfie boards prove pretty conclusively that its the girls who are putting it out there everywhere, even when no pay is involved.

    Which leads us back to the male mentality that goes something along the lines of, “Girl parts are BEAUTIFUL and I love how all the girls are letting us see what they’ve got in all those beautiful poses and all those fun places. I have a pretty awesome looking cock and I keep my self in nice shape and neatly shaved or man-scaped, so I’d like to give back and share my ‘art’ with the ladies, too!”

    So I’m really sorry hear that women regard our boy parts as just a big old “flesh-colored turd.”

    Wow. Whatever.

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