I think I’ve finally figured out why people love New Year’s Eve so much.
You see, most people don’t get black-out drunk and have sex every day like me. They have to wait until New Year’s Eve to let go of all their inhibitions to finally make mistakes and do irreparable harm to their bodies.
There are two attitudes to take going in to a New Year’s Eve. You’re either pleased with the past year and looking forward to more success or you totally blew it and you’re depressed. Either way, you get a group of happy drunk or sad drunk people in a room together, somebody’s going to get laid.
So without any more preamble, I’d like to tell you men all about the women you’ll meet on New Year’s Eve and how you can have sex with them.
First of all, I’d like to apologize to the women that read the Sex.com Blog. The following post is going to be chock-full of sweeping generalizations about women and their behavior come New Year’s Eve. I’m sorry it has to be this way but it’s the only way I can help my fellow men get laid on New Year’s Eve.
To make it up to the female contingent of our readership, let me identify the only man you’ll meet on New Year’s Eve: Drunk Man.
He’s a drunk guy, which means he’s impressionable, irritable, and possibly a little depressed. If you want to have sex with a Drunk Man, walk over to him and ask him, “Do you want to have sex?” I’d say you have a 90% chance that he’ll say yes. Then it’s up to you to lead him to the bathroom or throw him in a cab and have your way with him.
Ok, now that women know how to have sex with literally any man in the world this New Year’s Eve, men pay attention. It’s time for you to meet the women of New Year’s Eve…
The Lover’s Quarrel Woman
364 days of the year, this lady is spoken for. But because her boyfriend would rather drink beer in a basement with his bros than come to a cool party with his sexy girlfriend, she’s filled with rage and liquor.
I should tell you right now that hooking-up with a woman in a relationship is never a good idea. You’re just asking for drama and possibly a beating courtesy of the cuckolded boyfriend. But if you’re prepared for the consequences, continue reading.
If you want to hook-up with the spoken for lady, make her feel special. Give her the attention she’s not getting from her boyfriend. Then casually float the idea of hooking-up just for one night. You never know what she’ll say so it’s worth a try. Never ever mention her boyfriend, especially by name.
The Open Girl
As I mentioned before, people are more open to hooking-up on New Year’s Eve and yes that includes women.
So if you see a single girl that’s standing by the bar alone, go over and talk to her! Show her that you’re assertive and confident by talking to her.
Remember, just because she’s open to the idea of hooking-up doesn’t mean that she’s easy.
The Memories Woman
After watching to many romantic comedies, this woman thinks that all holidays or big events have to be full of memories. You’ll be able to recognize her because she’s usually documenting every little thing on her iPhone.
If you want to sleep with her, go talk to her and figure out how the two of you can memories!
I know that sounds like a pick-up line but use your imagination. Pull some hilarious pranks or do something crazy. Make memories for both of you throughout the night and culminate of making the memory of having sex together.
The Drunk Girl
Stumbling, laughing and looking for a good time. These girls are easy to lose track of so keep an eye on her while you try to get to the same level of drunk.
Once you’re both wasted, let nature run its course.
Happy New Year everyone and good luck!