World’s Heaviest Living Woman loses weight through marathon sex


Marathon sex

Last year, Pauline Potter of Sacramento, California, was crowned the world’s heaviest living woman by Guinness World Records. It’s not as cruel as it sounds, it was her idea. By being award world’s heaviest living woman, her plan was to use the shameful publicity to lose weight. When you weigh 643 pounds, you’ve probably tried a few different ways of losing weight so public shame is worth a shot.

The good news for Pauline Potter is that she is losing weight, she’s already lost almost one hundred pounds, which is impressive considering her mobility issues. According to the Huffington Post, she doesn’t eat 10 000 calories a day anymore (as a frame of reference the average woman’s daily caloric intake is 1940). Though her eating habits have improved, she credits the weight loss to the marathon sex she’s been having after being reunited with her ex-husband (which is impressive considering her mobility issues).

Pauline and Alex

Alex, Pauline’s ex-husband, paid her a visit when he she went public with her size. They had sex six times in their first twenty-four hours back together. When Alex is visiting from Arizona, the couple apparently has sex seven times a day to help Pauline slim down. ?”I sweat off loads of calories. I call it ‘?sexercise’,” says Pauline.

It really is great that Pauline is losing weight and to do it all while having sex must be a dream come true. But then again…there are some quotes from the couple that just seem like a joke. I can’t imagine anyone saying any of it with a straight face. Call me a shallow asshole but I cannot take these quotes seriously:

  • “I can?t move much in bed, but I burn 500 calories a┬ásession ? it?s great exercise just jiggling around.?
  • “We love foreplay and massages and, as well as full sex, I pleasure Alex, too. My bed is strengthened and, although I can?t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a┬ánice sheet over me.?
  • ?It?s really dangerous for us to have sex because at any moment the bed could collapse and one or both of us could be seriously injured or even killed from the impact,”

So they might have said some things that were unintentionally hilarious, a lot of props need to be handed out for this story. Pauline’s on the right track to losing the weight. Alex is back with the woman he loves. Despite the size difference, they still have an active sex life. You ever try to have sex seven times in one day? That shit is hard to pull off, so good for these two for doing it seven times regularly.

What you, the reader, should be getting out of this is that shame is an excellent motivator. If you feel ashamed that the world’s heaviest living woman gets laid more than you, use that shame to get laid eight times in one day.

  • Dr_Lovetouch

    Holy cow! Get it?

  • Chico Dusty

    Thank you, Doctor Lovetouch. Doctor, could you recommend any other weight loss methods? You are a doctor, aren’t you?

  • cooterclark


  • cooterclark

    “My bed is strengthened and, although I can?t buy sexy lingerie, I drape a nice sheet over me.? – best line

  • Chico Dusty

    I want to see some skinny girls draping nice sheets over themselves. I think it’s a good look.